This is going to be a long winded one but anyway.....just to start off, I am happily married now.
About 5 years ago I met a guy and had a brief relationship with him. It lasted about 3 months. He didn't live near me but we still managed to see each other 3 times a week usually. I was absolutely smitten with him, I fell for him big time and thought he felt the same until he ended it all of a sudden. I was absolutely devastated and didn't take it well at all. He blamed the distance.
Anyway, as I say, I was gutted and determined to make him change his mind (sad I know but I was so blind to it all). Eventually I gave up though we did still keep in touch every now and then. I would sometimes get a message from him and sometimes would get quite flirty. This went on for about 2 years. I never had a relationship in this time, always single.
Anyway one day out of the blue, I got an email from him saying his phone was broken but would I like to go away for a weekend with him and try start things up again. Obviously I was over the moon and agreed. We were constantly emailing and he even sent me flowers. We set a date for the weekend (both had dcs so it took some time to have a weekend we were both free). I suggested meeting up for a drink before the weekend but he wasn't keen on that idea.
Anyway we were emailing for weeks and I got suspicious. Why wasn't his phone fixed? He was never on any social media but I decided to search for him. He still wasn't on. Then I remembered his mums name, searched for her and found her. And there it was. A picture of his mum, him and his girlfriend. His girlfriend was tagged in the picture so clicked on her profile and turns out their been together over a year - judging from pictures. Gutted.
Anyway I decided to screenshot the gfs profile and email it over to him calling him every name under the sun. All he was bothered about was if I was going to tell her. I told him I was and proceeded to message her over fb along with screenshots of our emails....finished the email but never sent it. As angry and hurt as I was, I'm not to get involved with other people's relationships. I knew the adult thing to do was just leave it.
He emailed again asking if I had messaged her.....I just replied with 'maybe I have, maybe I haven't....doubt she will be pleased with you when you get home'
Over the next couple of days it was constant emails from him asking if she knew or not and my replies were always just: ;-) or :-)
No words, no nothing. I then just decided to start a new email and move on. I never checked that email address (it wasn't my main one anyway) again until the other day.
I needed to log into something for the first time in years and it was registered in that email. I tried to change the email to my current one when logged in but couldn't. Proceeded to do what I needed to and then had to log into my old email for the confirmation.
All the old messages were there along with 18 messages from him over the last 3 years. Last one was 9 months ago. Saying he was sorry but he couldn't bear not knowing wether she knew or not. Apparently she goes hot and cold with him and has done since around that time. It's absolutely nothing to do with me as I never did send the message to her. He said he had even tried to ring me - I changed my number ages ago.
I looked her up on fb and they are still very much together and look very happy - him more than her if you can read anything from photographs.
Now I feel guilty. I've clearly put him through hell. However I will always remain that if I hadn't found out, that weekend would of happened. I would of had no idea he was with someone.
I don't plan on messaging him. I'm married now and honestly haven't given him a second thought until I saw all these unread messages. But I just couldn't sleep last night. I suppose it's what he deserves but honestly they do look like a lovely couple and I'm sure (or really hope) he's learnt his lesson from this.
I'm not going to contact him, I wouldn't know his number now and I although it would be totally innocent, I don't agree with messaging other men when I'm married. I've explained it to dh and he just said it serves him right but i really do feel bad for some reason. I never realised how much it would mess with him.
And surely if she did know, it would of all come out by now? He can't honestly after all this time still not know the truth? Soz this is really long