Hi,
I'm just looking for opinions on stopping your children from seeing a parent. Do you think there's ever a valid enough reason to stop all contact or as a mum do I have to keep watching my kids heart break?
My stbxh and I have split up for over a year. In this time he's turned up for my sons twice. One of them is old enough to understand and loves and misses his daddy terribly, the other is not quite old enough to get it.
He's chose a life of drugs and drink (the reason I left him) over his 2 children. I have tried and tried to get him to see sense and that he is missing out on the things he won't ever get back. I've never taking drugs ever (he takes cocaine) or been a drinker so I don't know the hold it has. He takes it on weekends which I think has now turned into weekdays as he has lost his business.
I could write a list of the stuff he has done to my children. He never got them birthday or Christmas presents/cards, doesn't contribute financially. Stole the key to my house and stayed there while I took my kids away for the weekend. Come back to find he had drug takers in my home and left the evidence.
When we first split up, I thought it was just alcohol that was the problem and it was only on weekends so I would arrange for him to visit my home for an hour so he could spend some time with them and he still wouldn't turn up. He even sent my kids belongings to the tip as a punishment for not having him back.
I just really can't take it anymore. I love my children with all my heart and he isn't good enough for them. I moved home as I couldn't have them in a house where drugs had been and I feel like we are finally getting back on our feet.
But he keeps asking to see them. And is making my life a misery. It's constant abuse and name calling. He's telling people who don't even really know me I'm this horrible person and I'm getting called names in the street "because I can't play god with kids life" which I know is true but I can't have my kids involved with that, and I know he wouldn't turn up and they would get hurt all over again so I've stopped all contact and even trying to make him change his life.
I've told him if he is serious he will see a solicitor and let them decide as I can't let my babies get hurt again.
Am I doing the right thing by stopping all contact? Or do I try and get him to a doctors for help so my children can have a dad. Is there ever a valid enough reason to cut a parent out their life like I'm doing? I can't stop crying thinking about this mess.
Thankyou for reading and sorry if it's all over the place x