My ex has thrown me out...

[fruity12]

Anyone reading my other posts would know that I left my abusive partner a few weeks ago but have been coming and going the last few weeks to get stuff
I went back today and he kicked off...he threw me into the bed, put his head hard against mine and told me if I've come back to get more stuff, I can go now
He was shouting go go go now and started throwing all my things on the drive
I have a lot of stuff there and the plan was I get the keys to my new place next Monday when I will getting a man an van
Anyway I had to call the police, just to attend for preventing the breach of peace and my mum and step dad came to help me
I had to try take as much as I can but sadly I've left so much as i couldn't fit it all in
The police tried to mediate with him saying I can come next Monday to get my things but he said he wasn't having any of it that I have to come
Tomorrow at 4
I'm working and my little one is in club til 5...I'm at my mums and my little one is in bed and it's fine to stay here until I get my keys
He owes me £1700 and he told the officer if I don't collect tomorrow he will put it all outside
He was horrible in front of them too
I didn't tell them about what he did as he will only make my life hell from now on anyway so I just want to get away from him as soon as possible

That's understandable - and eerily similar to me when I had to go back to my Mum's. She put me to work sanding and varnishing the dining room floor, which in hindsight, was a really good idea as it gave me something to focus on.

I think it's OK to give yourself a break about wishing this week away, can you start planning your new place for next week?

Is it normal to feel so sick and lost even though my head tells me it is the right decision?
Today has thrown me if I'm honest
Think because now I've got all my stuff and is final
Yes I'm trying my best to set myself little tasks / treats each day to just get through the day

stay strong fruity x you got this

don't go back, you'll be fine

Give yourself time. It has been a major trauma so you need to give yourself time to adjust to your new life away from him.
Good luck and as a pp said, you've got this!

Is it normal to feel so sick and lost even though my head tells me it is the right decision? absolutely

It's a big decision and a massive upheaval for you emotionally and physically. It's going to be hard for a while, even though you know its the right thing. I'm nearly a month on from a big split and still cry most days. But its getting less, I'm veering further towards what I know rather than how I feel now. I'm sure it will be the same for you.

Oh god I really hope so, thank you for all your kind replies
It sounds sad but I know if I comment I will get a reply and I feel I need it, need to read it to feel a little bit better.
I'm sure once I get my keys I can concentrate on moving forward
I just feel so scared and even the thought of being alone is scary
Even though the last thing I want is someone and I know and need to concentrate on my lo

It does help knowing that there are people out there thinking about you and wishing you well doesn't it. You've got this!

I just feel so scared and even the thought of being alone is scary

It is scary when you've never done it before. When I left my husband in 2005 at the age of 32, it was the first time I'd EVER lived alone. I'd gone from my mum's to living with a boyfriend, back to my mum's, living with different boyfriend, back to mum's, living with husband.

Even though our marriage was fucked, I put off leaving for ages with stupid fears like:
Who will get rid of spiders?
What happens when my PC breaks down?
How will I get heavy items moved around?
What if a menacing looking man knocks on the door late at night?

They were not real reasons for me not to leave, they were just convenient hooks for me to hang my reluctance to change on.

(The answers of course were:
Me, with a long extension nozzle on the vacuum
I will take it to the PC repair shop, or work out how to fix it myself
I will ask for heavy items to be delivered to a specific room, or for existing items I will ask friends or neighbours to help and repay them with dinner/wine/chocs/something in my skillset
I will call the police)

It sounds like your mum and stepdad are supportive. You are going to be absolutely fine.

Thank you, yes you are right.
It's not the loneliness as I'm sure I can fill that and just learn to do some things for me which I'm quite looking forward to it's just having someone there
But I hope in time I can move on and be happier which is the plan