Appointment for forgetting...DP pushing

[ifIwasinvisiblewaitIalreadyam]

Hi everyone, just want some advice please...bit of back story, been having some issues with eldest behaviour after he was assaulted at his old nursery, trouble settling him in new school nursery but he seems to be levelling out and getting so much better. His health visitor referred him to be checked out as he sometimes doesn't give eye contact but nothing any more worrisome.
Well I have Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, which has a lot of symptoms and extreme pain, along with brain fog, so I'm quite forgetful.
Well my sons father (DP on/off) wants me to make an appointment at the Drs to inform them of my forgetfulness as I have forgotten a couple of our sons appointments and he thinks they'll start pointing thinking I'm incapable or something. But I know my forgetfulness is due to my condition and doesn't help when I'm stressed. So I don't think there is anything the Dr can do. I don't understand why he's pushing so much. I don't want to have on my record "forgets sons appointments" as I feel like I'm opening myself up to anything in the future, if we ever split he can just be like "well it is in her records that she doesn't bother to show up for appointments, due to her EDS" I don't want that. Am I overthinking it or is he actually doing what I think??
He just went mad as me for sighing when he mentioned it again. Started having a go at me. I don't see the big deal. Surely I can just have a word with the health visitor and say it wasn't done intentionally. She's a lovely lady and has been so helpful since the nursery incident. X

Did I read that your DP left his job? Is he not supporting you and DS financially at the moment? That puts a lot of pressure and stress on you, and with EDS that's something you don't need.

I think his insistence on you making an appointment is really creepy. He's trying to get something on the record that he can point to as a sign of your incompetence. Others are right: if he really wanted to help you he would step up and take some responsibility. It sounds, from your description, that he might enjoy putting you down.

It might be a good idea to discuss this with a helpful HV-- for the missing appointments but also to discuss his attitude towards you, it sounds a bit sinister to me that he seems to want you labelled as incompetent when you've got so much on your plate.

From a practical point of view, you could set up a calendar that is shared by you and DP so you both have the info about appointments etc.

Does he get involved with day to day parenting much, or leave it to you and pick apart your mistakes?
It might be worth visiting the GP if as others say there are blood tests to be done, but if it’s EDS brain fog and the general plate spinning of solo parenting that’s making you forgetful, all they will suggest is getting more organised with admin and time management.
It may be they can refer you for support with that, but a system of writing lists, setting reminders and checking will help no end.

He does seem to enjoy the fact that I mess up. He goes on and on about whatever I've done (or not done) and then ignores me. The last time he ignored me for a whole week.
He doesn't engage in day to day stuff, he sees it as mummy is there for the kids and daddy jumps in when "needed". But he also goes off on one when I don't include him in decisions, for example one day I bought some pants for our eldest in anticipation of potty training, he saw them and said "so you decided to potty train now?!" And then ranted about how I should have discussed it. He's king of moving the goalposts to suit him. I get whiplash from how mood swings and rule changes.
I'm gonna try and remember things, write them down, set alarms, anything else I can do to remember.
It's such a stressful time, bills going unpaid, EDS flaring up, and my mum's going through chemo so I'm trying to be there for her. It all gets too much and he just delights in my wrongdoings. I dunno maybe I am just useless. X

Nope. I have CP. Memory is.. Erratic. Get an echo dot, with Alexa. Mine is my memory.."Alexa, remind me to..", "Alexa, add something to my calendar". All gets put into my Google, so I can view anywhere. Also, I can set alarms, and it's nice to just be able to say "Alexa, what's on my to do list/calendar?". Useful gadget.

Erm no you are not useless he is a gaslighting emotionally abusive w*nker

You aren’t useless. You are juggling an awful lot without a great deal of support. Things get forgotten. I missed my boys’ dentist and got kicked off the books in similar circumstances.
I registered with new dentists and took steps to be more organised. It happens.
Do you have a friendly health visitor? You sound like you could do with some support.