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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

i wouldn't make up, so he ranted........

13 replies

boliver · 03/05/2007 18:04

dh and i were out for the day and i asked if he remembered about something, he said yes, then when i said "really?" , he said no. i got annoyed cos he lied about it and then after a few mins, he wanted to hug me, no apology for lying, so i said i didn't want to hug him. he tried again a bit later (still no apology, as usual) and i refused so he said we might aswell go back home. On the way back in the car , he ranted at me(ds, aged 1 in the back) shouting about how i'd ruined the day, i didn't care baout ds and how pig headed i am. I refused to say anything as ds was there and told him to be quiet. he carried on ranting for a while and eventually shut up. we've been home a while now and i feel so upset, firstly that he lied, secondly that he didn't apologise and lastly that he was so nasty to me , esp in front of ds. do i make up or continue with the bad atmosphere?

OP posts:
PetronellaPinkPants · 03/05/2007 18:06

oh make up
it's a tiff!

don't sulk it's dull

SoupDragon · 03/05/2007 18:06

Oh FGS, make up! Sounds pretty childish for what wasn't a major lie at all.

hoolagirl · 03/05/2007 18:06

Maybe he wasnt' listening when you originally said whatever it was you said and was just trying to pacify you when you asked by saying yes?
Hardly lie of the century imo.

PetronellaPinkPants · 03/05/2007 18:07

actually
you sound like you were picking a fight
I would have been pissed off too if I were him!

Diffuse the situation
Give him a hug and say "sorry I was such a twat" or something

PinkTulips · 03/05/2007 18:08

i'd imagine the first lie was just because he knew you'd get angry at him and he wanted to have a nice day with you and ds.

make up fgs

lovemybed · 03/05/2007 18:12

yu will have to make up at some point so better to get it over with.

PetronellaPinkPants · 03/05/2007 18:13

go on go on go on!

You will have a much nicer evening!

Choose your battles, save it for something important

OrmIrian · 03/05/2007 18:14

Never miss the chance to make up. If you say sorry for sulking, I'm sure he'll say sorry for whatever it was... It's very disappointing when something lovely like a day out is spoiled whoever's fault it is and men aren't good at dealing with disappointment.

boliver · 03/05/2007 18:15

thanks for all your replies. i know i was being bit over the top by making such a big deal of things , but i'm finding it really hard to deal with the way he spoke to me, esp in front of ds. he's going to anger management because he has problems with his temper but it doesn't seem to be making any difference

OP posts:
PinkTulips · 03/05/2007 18:18

i've got to say i'd expect dp to react exactly the same if i picked a fight on what was supposed to be a nice day. and vice versa, i'd rant at him if he did it.

ds is only 1, he won't remember and there's plenty of time to sort stuff like that before it beocomes a serious issue

anger management doesn't work overnight and you do seem to be trying to provoke him

boliver · 03/05/2007 18:37

i just went to say i was sorry, still feel upset but at least the bad atmosphere's gone. thanks so much for your replies!

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 03/05/2007 18:50

Well done. At least you can now feel like the Better Person.

SoupDragon · 03/05/2007 18:51

(I'm a bit of a natural sulker though )

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