Not coping.

[HopingForBetterDays]

I have not long ago split with my partner (my sons father) of 8 years, I thought I would be able to cope without him but I have been finding it really hard, my anxiety and mental health has worsened.

Two weeks, today he told our son that he would come and take him out for the day; he didn’t show up, now DS7 doesn’t want to see him and he thinks that is down to me.

I know you may think why have I posted this; but I don’t have anyone in RL that I can speak to, I feel a little bit better now I have let some of it out, I have been thinking about calling the Samaritans, sad I know.

the break up of any relationship is hard no matter the reason, its all your hopes and dreams for the future you saw come crashing down and the future looks different to how you envisioned it, your son is at the age where he knows that dad isnt in the house every day like he was so hes probably confused and hes going to take that out on the person who is there, it will get better, take each day one minute, one hour at a time, treat yourself to a small treat whatever you like, a bar of chocolate, a nice long soak in a bath with georgous bath stuff, hit the charity shops and buy some books or cds you like , and tell yourself each day that you are a good person and dont deserve to feel like this,

Thank you for replying it means a lot, sorry I think I have confused you. DS doesn’t want to see his dad.

I am feeling as if I have brought this on all myself, I should have let him go the first time he cheated.

Hang in there. I’m 18 months down the line after 13 years and 3dc. It’s still awful sometimes. Chat on here. It helps.

I think it’s only natural to feel anxious and down when a relationship breaks down.
Even when the break up is the best thing for you.
I separated from my dd’s dad about 18 months ago and while it was for the best it’s been a long time getting over things.
I felt a lot of guilt about our dd’s reaction especially as we had split when she was much younger initially and trying again had only exposed her to a breakup.
Things are still difficult but they are getting better.
Speak to whoever you need to, I found relate counselling helped me understand the mess we had got into (I went alone) and if you are feeling desperate Samaritans isn’t sad at all, it’s sensible.
Good luck

It is hard OP. I seperated from my husband, he left in November. 2 children, 1 and 2, been together 16 years. He was controlling, emotionally abusive, really quite unpleasant at times. No help in the house or with children. We are far happier and better off without him BUT I am a bit lonely. Though he wasn't any sort of support or comfort when he was here, it was company I guess.

Thanks everyone.

Hoping been there it took me so long to realise that my ex was going to carry on cheating as the thrill of the chase was obviously much more interesting than being married to me, his third time is when i blew and threw him out, but once trust has gone its gone and paranoia every time you go out or they go out eats away at you, and i didnt stop crying for around two months solid, but im lucky due to my volunteering work i had a network of if not people to confide in at least people to cheer me up and something to do with my time, at least it got me out of the house, but its when i went home that it hit, as i said its hard but i know it sounds trite but time is a healer xxx

^^
Thanks, I need to pull myself together but I just can’t.