Online/App Dating

[alexasaysno]

Hello,

Has anyone got to the point where they have decided that online dating is a waste of time and that doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results is just insane?

I have been doing online dating since 2000 and found i met a few nice people back then however there seems to be more players and unsavoury characters on sites these days. You have to wade through so much crap to find someone remotely 'normal' i ask myself is it worth it in 2018?

I think a lot of it is my area and being rural there isn't much choice of suitable men who are a good match.

I tried Muddy Matches but found that a waste of time and the nearest person was 50 miles away so too far.

Anyway i made this post to see if there was anyone else who was extremely fed up with modern dating.

You're older now so it's only natural that you'd meet with a different group of people than you did 15 years ago, or if you had been 15 years younger. The group you'd like to meet, are they even on those very sites you mention? If not, it won't work...

Yes some are but its mainly older men late 40's 50's. I have no interest in dating someone 10 years older or younger than me. I have tried it before and its not for me.

I am currently in a ‘no OLD’ period. I can’t hack it for long periods. I’ll delete it all for a couple of months and then go back on.

I hate the cycle, I hate being on it but as a single mum with a demanding job I don’t see how else I’ll meet people.

I really would recommend enforced breaks though to regain head space. But yes - it’s samey and boring and frustrating!

There's this need for men/women on those sites to come across as something they are not. The pictures can be photishopped or downright fake. Job descriptions, etc can also be fabrications.

I think i am just going to call it quits with online dating. I haven't the energy or the patience sifting through the shit. Too many head fucks on there too and life really is too short to waste time doing things you don't really enjoy or have your heart set in.

I've only just gone onto it again after the collapse of my 5 year relationship. I'm not really ready to meet anyone but I just need to know I have options so I'm not totally crushed by this!

I actually enjoy the buzz of it, filtering out the twats and having some nice chats with people. Touch wood, I've not yet had any dodgy pics or nastiness though, so that might sway me a bit.

Once I feel up to meeting people I'll be a bit more selective, probably hide my profile and just message people I like the look of myself rather than let them find me. I found that helped to feel more in control of it last time.

With the best will in the world, finding someone compatible is hard, especially if you're not out meeting people naturally - when you have kids and work at home like I do, its impossible unless you invite a lot of tradesmen round so if I ever want to meet anyone, it's going to have to be OLD with all it's issues.

There has to be a better way of meeting quality people than shitty online 'dating'.

Its all about photo's at the end of the day and if your not photogenic really what is the point in keep bothering with something that isn't working?

I think it works better for some people than others though and i am not one of them!

What site were you using? I also don't think paid sites are any better either.

No I agree, last time I did it, it was all the same people on Match and POF. This time I've tried Tinder but tbh that is really superficial, as its based solely on one photo - at least with POF you get a few pics, so a better idea of the person in their natural habitat, plus a bit more info.

For me finding a non-smoker, of the right type of age, right attitude about their kids, ability to string a sentence together with Year 12+ spelling and grammar etc is all important, which I can get from POF.

Obvs there are also a load of twats on there, but I don't see how you'd avoid meeting them at work or on a night out, or in any social situation. At least with OLD you get to filter out the clearly unsuitable ones and then its down to meeting I guess. I had a few nice dates last time and hope that if I get into it seriously I'll at least have a few nights out. Unlikely to find the love of my life on there, but hey, stranger things have happened.

And location will determine how successful you are too.

Think ill consider going on First Dates can't be any worse.