Tinder

[brittanyfairies]

I've been seeing a new guy for the past 6 months whom I met on Tinder. My XH cheated on me which has left me with massive trust issues,which I didn't realise I had until in this new relationship.

New guy has assured me he's no longer looking for anyone on Tinder. I must confess I check his Tinder profile every now and then. When he went back to his home town at Christmas his mileage changed so I knew he had logged onto the app. I didn't make a fuss, I just asked him about it. He said he'd been showing Tinder to a friend. He assured me he wanted to be exclusive. At that point even if he had been meeting other people it wouldn't have been a problem I'd have just continued on a casual basis.

When I was bored last night I just flicked onto his Tinder profile and his description had changed. I asked him about it, he got very defensive and said it had always been like that. But In fact just two days before I'd told a friend about him and actually shown her his tinder profile which still had his original wording.

He has made me feel like I'm going mad and am now doubting what I know I've seen. So my question is could Tinder have accidentally reverted back to an old profile that he once had, or has he changed it himself?

If he wanted to be casual I wouldn't have minded but I can't deal with lies and being made to feel like I'm going crazy. I had enough of that in my marriage.

If you wanted a casual relationship a/ why is this a problem and b/ why you obsessively checking his Tinder ??

I think you were both being dishonest here.

If you were all casual you'd have never even looked at his mileage, let alone bring it up.

So you were both on totally different pages to the ones you were presenting to each other. The question is, will you learn from it.

Also, surely its not a case of if two people want 'casual' its a case of two people build a relationship at their own pace from a casual acquaintance as all relationships/friendships between strangers tend to start and sometimes, if the timing and everything else is right and everyone keeps calm and enjoys it, it turns into something long term.

@thenaze73 sorry "for life" where did the OP mention a marriage proposal ?? I think the op was advising that guy was looking for "commitment" in terms of it being a boyf/girlfriend situation , with exclusivity and monogamy included within that.

@FuckItPassMeTheWine

Guess we’ll find out if/when the OP returns. All down to interpretation

@thenaze73 pushing for commitment / monogamous relationship is not the same as asking for the op's hand in marriage ...I think that it's pretty clear from what op explained but if that's how you "interpret " things then it explains why your comments (on every thread ) are consistently shit in the advice department

@FuckItPassMeTheWine Ok & no worries

Goodness, no I wasn't speaking about a marriage proposal I meant that he wanted us to just date each other to the exclusion of others😀

And my problem wasn't that he was still on Tinder, just that I'd queried why he'd changed his profile in respect of him just wanting to date each other exclusively. My problem was that he lied to me and then tried to gaslight me when I called him out on it. I started the thread because I wanted to be completely sure that it couldn't possibly have been a software glitch before I ended it. I needed to be sure I wasn't being unfair to him.