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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

my husband dont want to have sex with me or be with me

14 replies

Righteous21 · 24/02/2018 08:31

i married my husband 3 months ago and i gave birth to a beautiful boy 16 days after i married my husband. i had to wait 6 weeks to heal up the stiches but we still had sex around the second week of my recovery. He moved to Hawaii due to his job. i was in texas staying with his parent which is my inlaws. i trusted him during our long distance relationship. there were ups and downs during our long distance relationship. everytime we have a bad or huge argument he would block me for the whole day and night. so Lord knows what the hell is he doing. when i moved back with my son in hawaii to be with my husband, he's totally different. the good side of him are still there. he cares (sometimes) , he provide and buy me stuff. but the bad side is really horrible. he doesnt want to shower with me anymore. he would called me hippo, telling me that my stretch marks is a huge turn off, im fat, everything is ugly. he would laugh when i take off my clothes. he would push me to work out but i got no time to work out cause i clean the house, cook for him, look after my 3 months old son. he eats and make a mess and he would tell me that he is the man of the house and i have to obey and listen. i dont know what to do?! every time im always the one that gets horny and would ask him to fuck me. he never gets horny. he would tell me i aint sucking that tits, or no i dont want to fuck you. he would tell me that he's tired and he wants to go to bed or playing games with his friends. i really need help. its like the only reason why he want to be with me is because he wants to see his son and im just there to change his diaper and look after our son when he goes to work. :(

OP posts:
Babdoc · 24/02/2018 08:34

Why are you still with this crock of shit? Tell him to get his act together or you’re leaving!

Shoxfordian · 24/02/2018 08:41

He sounds horrible
Divorce him

Addy2 · 24/02/2018 08:54

LTB

AttilaTheMeerkat · 24/02/2018 09:03

What do you get out of this relationship now, is this really the model of a relationship you want to be showing your child?

You need to leave this man and asap before he further drags you down with him.

NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom · 24/02/2018 09:07

Wow, he sounds like a treasure Hmm
Just out of interest how long have you known him?
I'd dump & run.

Righteous21 · 24/02/2018 09:09

im so scared to divorce because i cared alot and i love him and i know thats stupid but the main reason why i dont want to divorce because i know he's going to win full custody of my son. i dont have a house of my own and i dont got a job. i need advice and i really dont want another women raising my child.

OP posts:
Grimbles · 24/02/2018 09:13

Why will he get full custody of your son?

Shoxfordian · 24/02/2018 09:21

Why would he get custody?

AttilaTheMeerkat · 24/02/2018 09:22

I think you could well be confusing love here with codependency.

How is this person going to get full custody of your child?. What is that based on, if it is purely your own fears and supposition then you are more likely than not wrong.

You need legal advice and as you are married you have more rights in law.

Righteous21 · 24/02/2018 10:04

I DONT KNOW. I always thought whichever or whoever has the job, money and the house gets full custody of their child, because i dont have a job (housewife)

OP posts:
AttilaTheMeerkat · 24/02/2018 10:08

If you do not know it is in your interests to find out exactly where you stand legally with regards to divorce and custody arrangements. Not knowing is not an option here.

Would you want your child to think that yes this is how women are treated in relationships. No you would not.

Righteous21 · 24/02/2018 10:22

Thank you so much for your advice. I will look into it . i really do appreciated.

OP posts:
thethoughtfox · 24/02/2018 12:32

You are the child's primary caregiver so if anyone was getting full custody, it would be you. And now you are married, you should also co-own any property. He will need to pay you maintenance if you leave to support your son. You need advice.

Wonkydonkey44 · 24/02/2018 12:34

Go and see a solicitor and then plot leaving , life is far to short to stay with someone who treats you so bad xx

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