My mother is a very moody person and cant take a sulk over everything.
Since I was a child I remember her taking sulks over the slightest thing and would snap at me in hurtful ways. Me and my brother always had to deal with her outbursts as neither of our fathers were around. The outbursts were mainly emotional but sometimes they could be physical too. When she was in her emotional outbursts she would sometimes swear, shout and even sometimes scream.
In my teenage years she got worse. From about 14 on wards she could be very snappy. I was very quiet until I was 16. I started going out with friends and started dating. She was very negative about me dating. I was only with him for a few months but she was horrible for the whole time and sulked.
When I turned 21 she randomly decided she wanted my bedroom and that I should move into the smallest bedroom. I said no I didn't want to at first because I'd just decorated the room, and since the second I said that she went into a sulk. this situation went on for a year. I went away for the weekend for my birthday and when I'd come back she'd took all of my photo's down moved all of my clothes and even changed my duvet to hers. This really drawn a line between us and from then on I didn't even want to be in the house anymore.
Fast forward to 24 and I moved in with my first proper boyfriend. We moved in pretty quickly but we'd known each other for a year before we did. She was a nightmare during the whole time. The first few months she'd keep ringing asking when I was coming home. I understand it's hard having a child move out but when I did go back she was so negative. One time she even asked me 'Why did I bother coming back'
When I was 29 I'd been with my now husband for 2 years. We'd been married for a year and just found out we were having our first daughter. When ever the subject came around about me having children when I was younger she'd insist she'd be naming my first child, so when she found out I was having my daughter she automatically she started looking at names and kept saying 'I like that, that'd be nice'. Now me and my husband had already started picking out the names and we're pretty close to choosing. So I decided to tell her when we picked one. I even made the 3 hour drive to tell her. I sat her down and told her we'd decided on the name and we were sticking with it. After this she went into complete sulk mode. I tried to explain to her but she wouldn't have it. Things got worse when I told her I only wanted my husband at the birth, I told her she could be in the hospital but not in the room.
It's never got better for me and her even now. I have three children now our eldest daughter is now 15, our youngest daughter is 8 and our youngest son is 5. I very rarely talk to her now. I message her on Facebook but rarely get a reply. A few months back she said she would visit. She messaged me saying see you tomorrow. On the morning she said she would be here at 1. come 1 o'clock no sign of her. So i checked whether she had been online. She was online right that second but didnt message me. Hours passed and still nothing. Three days went by with no communication then she messaged me out the blue asking me when I was going to visit? I visited her a couple of weeks later because I thought something had happened. But she never even mentioned why she didn't visit. I left and didn't mention it again. So on Monday this week she messaged me saying that she would like to come and visit. I was a bit weary after the previous event. But this time she said she was bringing my brother so I said they could come down. So Tuesday arrived and she messaged me saying she would be here at 1. again one oclock came and went. She didn't even go online again during the day. No message, phone call or nothing. All I got was a message at 10pm saying just 'Sorry'. No reason no nothing. The next day she messaged me saying 'Hello!xx' I just thought 'Really? after the previous days event?' I think this is that last straw for me and her. She doesn't seem interested in actually seeing me or my family. I feel bad about cutting her off because she's my mum but I don't see any other options?
Sorry this is a bit long but I really need some outsiders opinions. My husband says I should probably just cut ties with her but leave the door open if she ever needs anything. I'm worried she would behave like this towards the kids if keep letting it happen. Please help!