I am Wrong?

[1991h]

Recently I have started feeling great resentment against my fiancé. We have a 3 year old together and I work while he stays at home to look after her. This arrangement was something that just happened was never really discussed it was just I was the one who always had a career and he’s never really need to work. Recently I have really started resenting him for this as I feel like I’m missing out on our daughter. Everytime I bring the topic up it ends in a big argument with him saying someone needs to bring up our daughter so he can’t work but it was never an option for him to work and me stay at home. His argument is that he wouldn’t be able to earn as much as me but feel like this is just a cop out I am wrong to feel this way? It’s really putting a strain on our relationship as I’m constantly blaming him and telling him to get a job

Why can’t he work part time so you can reduce your hours

It’s something I’ve suggested many times but get nowhere with it he’s constantly saying he would love to work but yet doesn’t I just don’t understand it to be honest

OP - i’d say it also depends a little on your overall relationship and how long it’s been.
It sounds like - him not working had been the case even before the child came along.
So - it’s been like that before and you went ahead and had the baby.

Will be interesting to hear how this goes on MN....

Sorry - posted before finishing.
What I wanted to say - relationships do fall into a pattern. And it’s diffcult to change that pattern and the other person ends up confused - why it was Ok and his role was acceptable before and suddenly became less so.

But as you said - now that you have a child - you feel you are missing out. So - i’d focus on communicating that. And your need to find a way to spend more time with her. Say - cut your hours, switch a job, etc.
And, btw - soon she’ll be at school 8;30-3:30ish - so the need to have a fully stay at home parent is diminished.

You got engaged to and had a baby with a guy who's never really worked?

Why?

I wouldn't be happy with this situation- his closing down of any discussion is not nice either.

Yes I completely understand what you are saying and yes I went into this with my eyes open so what did I expect. He did work it was just he worked with his dad doing up house it’s just the latest project is behind by 2 years due to a number of issues. I suppose sometimes you trust in what people promise rather than wait for the action. But my little girl is everything to me and yes the childcare won’t be an issue soon nor will the time be there that I can spend extra with her. I’ve tried looking for over jobs just seem to be full time of want someone super quilifed for part time. Just don’t know what to do next but know if it was the other way around I wouldn’t want him to be this unhappy