advice needed please!

[used2bthin]

DP and I were not together through some of myPG, things haven't been great in a lot of ways and recently since DD i haven't been v attentive to him. He isn't happy, i think we both don't know what we want and we've discussed splitting up. Then we have days when he's really keen to sort it out but it never seems long before arguing starts again. Last night i went to type in a web address and the list of previously visited sites came up including one for casual relationships! Then i went to google and a whole list of sites like that came up. Worst thing is i don't feel angry i just think of course, he's not getting it from me!

Sorry to read what you're going through.

Do you want to fix things?

Do you think he's actually sleeping with other people? Or just fantasizing about it?

Is couples counselling an option?

It sounds like there are a lot of things going on here, and even if staying together isn't the right answer, couples counselling might help you have a good break up, at least ...

Are you really not angry? You need to talk about all this. Are you depressed?

sorry its taken so long to get back, its hard to get on the computer alone! The dr has offered me ads but its more than that, i feel guilty for n ot being more interested myself as if i've pushed him into this but of course he shouldnt have gone down this route at all! Maybe he's just browsing but i'm thinking he must be considering it at the very least! All the lists were deleted yesterday so he obv wasnt doing it to get my attention as i first thought. I'm not sure what i want from it all tbh, am v wrapped up in the baby but i'm not happy. He has refused counselling.

How old is your baby? It is very stressful, not to mention tiring, becoming a parent for the first time. It might be a good idea to talk to your health visitor if you feel low.

if your not bothered by him visiting such sites then it sound like you are really only with him for the baby,and if thats the case theres no wonder you feel low atm.

did you ask him about the sites he's been visiting?its not acceptable for him to look for sex elsewhere just because hes not getting it from you,unless you've agreed to an open relationship?

thanks everyone, she's 9m, we havent agreed to an open relationship so it is out of order. going to have to bring it up soon as he is acting like nothings oing on and i've tried to look at it objectively(hearing others opinions has really helped)and whether we're gertting on or not is kind of irrelevant i spose. Thanks again.