Age gap!

[WW86]

Hi all,

Hope we are all well!

Met this guy on a night out & got chatting and swooped numbers etc, we arranged a date, had a great time, a laugh etc & said we would meet up again! Anyway, through chatting, I've since found out he is 21!!

I thought he was around 27 and he thought I was mid 20's, both from guesswork. (I'm 31)

Now I think he's far too young for me to date. The age gap doesn't bother him.

Thoughts / experiences?

Admittedly, my first reaction is that I'm also 31 and can't possibly imagine what I'd have in common with the average 21-year-old man. But, I've had significant age gaps the other way in several of my relationships and I suppose one could posit equally what a forty-something man would have in common with me.

So. Meet him again! It's a date, not a commitment, you don't have to decide now whether it's going to work long term, that will come as you get to know more about each other's goals, values, lifestyles and so on. If you both have similar outlooks and plans for your lives, there's no reason it's insurmountable.

If you really like him then who cares? He is an adult so you are doing nothing wrong. Enjoy it for what it is.
The only thing that may cause an issue is if you want further committment and he might not be ready for that.
Enjoy

No big deal really, although personally as a 30 year old I can't imagine anything at all I would have in common or have to talk about with a 21 year old guy, I'd struggle not to see him as a baby brother!

I wouldn't get involved. You're at different life stages.

Just go with the flow for a few dates and then decide.

OP - it just depends on what you want in the med/long term....
If it’s family and kids sometime in the next few years - then you’ll need to realise that it may be harder to expect a mid-20yo to want that.
Equally - i’d think that at some point - if you stayed together - the 10year difference may catch up with you. There aren’t many marriages around with 60yo women and 50yo men.
It may sound sexist, and I am sure some marriages like that exist - but not as a rule. And genders are usually flipped.
Just being realistic here.

However - if you aren’t concerned with kids any time soon - nothing to stop you from having fun with him.

I think that gap is okay with 41 and 31 but not when the person is 21. Looking for different things you’re still growing emotionally until you reach 30

I think worth a go, men and women can be very different at all different ages, some more mature young, some not mature older... it really varies person to person. I’m 30, I have a really good friend who’s 22. He’s super smart, we have loads in common, very similar views... I wouldn’t rule someone out for being that much younger if they were mature and we go on. You’ll only know by going on the date. Enjoy!

Sorry it sounds like you’ve been on one date... my advice stands

While I know there's a potential for a good relationship to develop at first, n the long run, given the age gap, your relationship with him will turn into a mother-child-like interactive relationship.

Think of it this way. If you're after a long-term relationship, then few years down the road the age difference will become more apparent and there's a good possibility he'd be wanting somebody closer to his age.

On the other hand, if you want to have some fun for a short period of time, then what the hell! Why not?!

I'm 8 years older than DH. We met when he was 21. We've been married 14 years this year. I suppose a lot will depend on how much you have in common, goals & outlooks etc but it's not insurmountable.