Would you tell OW's husband?

[LanguidLobster]

A friend's wife (same sex couple, married with kids) has been having an affair with a married woman (male-female, with kids).

Husband doesn't know. My friend is devastated, she is temperate and measured, but she had a flash of anger today and thought about telling the husband.

I don't actually think she should, I think the 'couple' are being twats and it isn't love in the slightest. They're rubbing it in her face at present and she is sensible and is getting legal advice about splitting and access to the children.

I feel so sorry for her though as her wife is refusing to leave the home (my friend is the breadwinner) and expecting her to put up with her coming and going and blathering on about their 'luurrrve'. It's not love at all, they're entitled idiots.

So do you think the husband should be informed? I don't know if I gave bad advice by saying 'no'

I would tell. Just ask yourself, if you were the injured party, would you want to know? Only the dumbest kind of doormat would say 'no'...

@Leilaniiii

You sound very lovely, too......

I told my friend when I stumbled across my friends DPs online dating profile
Whilst I realise they're slightly different situations, I remember my friends reaction very clearly. She was devastated and felt like shit but if I hadn't have told her she would have been made a complete fool of and if she found out at a later date that I had known, it would have completely changed the dynamic of our relationship.
Everybody is different and you can't predict how someone is going to react but I'm pretty sure my first instinct would always be to tell. The lack of honesty removes a persons right to choose whether they want to remain in that situation or not. It's unfair.