End of marriage and my whole life is going to change.

[TowerOfJoy]

3 weeks ago DH told me that he no longer loved me and was leaving. We've been together for 15 years (since we were 15), married for 5 years and have a 3yo DD.

I'm really struggling with everything right now, which is understandable I guess. But one of the main issues is that I feel like my entire life is now going to change.
How do I deal with mutual friends, his family etc. We've been together so long his family is my family and vice versa. DH has younger siblings who have only known me in their lives and who I class as siblings.

I feel like I'm grieving for my marriage and my life. How the hell do I get out of this hole?

Awe tower

I have been where you are now, and yes, your life is going to change but things have a habit of falling into place.

I was so overwhelmed and couldn't picture - at all - what my future had in store, but it just sort of 'happened' and my new life began, one step at a time.

I'm sure there will be low times, when things seem hard and you wish for your old life back. But just keep focusing on the future. 3 weeks is nothing, you'll still be in shock from your DHs revelation.

Sending you and and a hand hold.

you must be in complete shock. Did you know he was unhappy? It’s really unfair of him to just throw this on you and not even try to see if it can be saved.

I'm so sorry that this is happening. There are lots of us on here that have been through similar. I'm afraid that there is no magic bullet, it is just time. Just take one day at a time, one major decision at a time, and one day you'll realise that you're not as sad as you were. I think the received wisdom is that it takes one month for every year that you were together.

In the meantime, distract yourself by keeping busy and focus on building a lovely life for you and dc.

There is no reason why you can't remain friends with his family. If the split is amicable this may well be possible, although it will drift over time as people move on ime.

It is very hard. You'll need your friends and family around you, and mn is always here for support too.

Your life will change but it could be for the better. You will get through this. Some couples are together 40 years and separate in their 60’s. Your young and still have your whole life ahead of you, you will get there time is the biggest healer

You will get over this and his family and yours are always connected by your child. I am still close to one of my exHs relatives but not my ex parent in laws. And we were also together as teens and went through some very tough and Bonding times.
You will survive this. You really will. 💕

To be told that someone no longer loves you is so very harsh and so damaging to your self-esteem. I really do feel for you.

But you must hold your head up high and step into your new life with your self-worth intact. There will be so many family and friends who will prop you up at this time.

Your life will be very different and you will have a the daunting task of re-adjusting your relationships with lots of people; but in time you will get there.

I wish you every good luck in this new phase of your life - and you will be happy in time.

Thank you all, I'm sitting here in tears after reading those replies.

@PaperworkCartoon I didn't really see any obvious signs that he was unhappy but we've had a rough year. Last September he admitted that he had a gambling problem and was depressed but I thought we had got through the other side. Plus once the gambling and debt issues were out in the open I thought that they explained all the little problems we'd been having.

I'm trying to focus on just getting through each day, luckily work and a 3yo are good distractions. I'm going to redecorate the living room on my next days off, we were supposed to be going away for my birthday.

I separated after 16 years so I know how you feel. Luckily I wasn't as close to my ex's family as you seem to be. I did go through a grieving phase though which was really hard. Once I got through that, I started to enjoy my life again.

You will still have the connection with his family through your child, it will just change slightly. As long as things remain fairly amicable, you can make it work.
It is going to be hard re-adjusting your life but try to see it as a new start with so many possibilities ahead. Focus your next few months on making sure your DD is ok and adjusting to the changes.
I wish you lots of luck