Affair will never go away

[BowOut]

Thats it really after trying to make my relationship work for a year after finding out my partner cheated on me with a work colleague nothing has gotten any better for me.

I thought after some time we might be able to work things out. Our relationship had been awful previous to the affair and my partner completely changed and became the loving partner he once was and a better father to our DD.

But the damage is done i can never love him the same again and after wasting 10 years of my life with him i know i need to move on. Its sad and very hard to break the attachment and being so used to someone but i would have never been able to so easily jumped in to bed with another person like he did.

It took me a year to pull myself together and realise i deserve better...just looking for a bit of advise on how to move on from this hoping i still have time to meet someone else and have more children because that is something i really want

I do empathise, I’m further down the line after my DHs affair

2 things jump out at me.
You have not wasted 10 years. I can never understand this ‘I’ve wasted X amount of years’ comment. Married or single, you should be living your life.
If you don’t want him in your life leave him, but don’t let your focus be finding someone else. Focus on being alone, with your child for the moment.

It's gonna be hard to move on.
But... you can and will do it!
So many of us have.
Have you looked at finances etc... for when you separate?
Did you have counselling for yourself once you found out about the affair?
Have you had joint counselling?
If there is nothing there, then it's time to cut you losses.
You've not wasted 10 years.
I'm sure times were good and you have DC from it.
But don't waste any more time now!

To be honest its finances that are holding me back at the moment im in uni until summer and have secured a good job that will start shortly after. Unfortunetely the house is solely in his name though i have contributed half.

We have had counselling but i dont think i can ever get past this as much as i wanted to for the sake of our DD. I look at him sometimes and just feel pure hate.

I do feel as though i wasted 10 years as now i have to start all over and had always planned of having more children next year but now that is gone too