Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Changed locks?

16 replies

madeyemoodysmum · 19/02/2018 21:07

I am asking to pick your brains as I have no experience of this.

A friend of mine (male) has split from his dw.
No affair. No DV. Just arguments etc
Can't live together anymore no court orders etc.

He has most of his property from the house which is in joint names but dw and kids (his) still live there. Just need a few bits every now and then but never hassles to enter house. Just collects kids and drops them etc.

No harassment from him about access. Just reasonable requests.

Without notice dw has had the locks changed.

Can she with out reason? It's his house too and he is paying ALL bills.

OP posts:
Changedname3456 · 19/02/2018 21:22

As far as I’m aware, that’s not legal until they sort out the financials as part of the divorce. But others will know for sure

Gemini69 · 19/02/2018 21:26

yip agreed.. not entirely sure she can do this .. Hmm some very good legal eagles on here will confirm.. I'm sure Flowers

Anonagain2017 · 19/02/2018 21:29

Yes she CAN do this I'm afraid. I sought legal advice when I separated from ex. However, she has to grant him access to the property and if she refuses he is allowed to gain access by whatever means. Sounds like a contradiction, I know.
I realise it sounds unreasonable that she has done this but it is her home and maybe she is not comfortable with the idea of her ex having keys to let himself in whenever he wants.

Hellywelly10 · 19/02/2018 21:29

He's your friend. Do you really know the whole story?

Vitalogy · 19/02/2018 21:30

I don't think you are allowed to change the locks but why the heck is he going back and forth collecting stuff. Can't he just collect it all and be done.

Original poster
madeyemoodysmum · 19/02/2018 21:39

Thanks. I'm sure it's the full story. Known him since childhood I'm 100% sure no affair or DV but I imagine he has flaws like anyone.

He has most things but it was something in the loft he had forgotten about. Anyway he asked he if he could collect it as passing and she had to fess up to lock change.

Seems like a split verdict so I'm still not sure what's legal.

OP posts:
user1474652148 · 19/02/2018 21:46

Maybe your friend needs to recognise that his ex wife is probably feeling very vulnerable, and whether it is legal or not is beside the point
He needs to call ahead and check it is okay to drop in, he needs to learn hat new boundaries are now in place. It is irrelevant who pays the bills, she has a right to feel safe now that he has gone,
Your friend seems to be having a hard time accepting the relationship is over. Counselling and agreed visiting times might be a good idea

MyBoysAndI · 19/02/2018 21:48

I am currently going through a divorce and l was advised to not change the locks as he could get a locksmith to let him in.... so no point really.

I did however ask my stbxh to leave his key as l wanted to feel safe and secure without the worry of him having been there when l was out.

The house is officially mine now so l can change them now.

Longdistance · 19/02/2018 21:51

Well, as the house is an asset of the marriage she cannot change the locks.
I can imagine it being annoying him coming back and forth for stuff.

WitchesHatRim · 19/02/2018 21:53

Maybe your friend needs to recognise that his ex wife is probably feeling very vulnerable, and whether it is legal or not is beside the point

Well it could be her that ended the marriage and is fine with it.

It isn't beside the point as to whether it is legal or not.

If she has changed the locks he is entitled to keys until financials are settled.

She should also be responsible for the bills. He scant be expected to and unless he is a very big earner, won't be expected to, maintain two properties.

Original poster
madeyemoodysmum · 19/02/2018 22:02

Thanks for the info. I have linked this thread to my friend and hopefully he can take note!

OP posts:
waterSpider · 20/02/2018 09:10

Legal case is here:
www.familylawpartners.co.uk/can-change-locks-divorce/

"This right of occupation continues even if that person moves out of the family home. Neither party has the right to lock the other person out.

Therefore, no, you should not change the locks without the other owner’s consent or if you do a key should be provided to the other party."

Legally you could 'break in', as an owner, but I would recommend a friendly approach first!

Original poster
madeyemoodysmum · 20/02/2018 12:41

Thanks water spider.

OP posts:
category12 · 20/02/2018 12:55

Why make an issue of it? She's the one living there, and she will let him pick up his stuff when she's around.

I don't see the value in him forcing his right to have a key, it'll just cause unnecessary upset while they're currently reasonably amicable. He could ask for a key or he could force entry, but why? If it's just a power play, it's stupid and short sighted.

Let her have the peace of mind, and get going with the divorce.

FabbyChix · 20/02/2018 13:19

She cannot change the locks of a home which is in both their names, if it is in her name only she can.

WitchesHatRim · 20/02/2018 14:00

She cannot change the locks of a home which is in both their names, if it is in her name only she can.

If they are married it's a shared asset whoever name it is in.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.