Anyone elses mother like this??

[lifesteeth]

For the past couple of days I've been posting about the problems I'm having with my son and the bullying etc not to mention the fact that I've just started a new job after 8 years of not working, I'm a single parent so having to deal with all the bullying problems on my own as well as the stress of the new job etc...

I phoned my mum earlier to tell her what had happened with my son then had to rush off to pick my other son up from footie so said I'd ring her back and tell her the full story.

Anyway I rang back a minute ago only to be told by her husband "she said she'll ring you back after emmerdale" fgs nice to know where I stand in the priority stakes. So after the stupid program she rings back, tells me she doesnt think I should move his school as "I wont manage going to 2 different schools in a morning", she tells me not to give my job up for it and laughs when I tell her my son was made to sit on a baby chair today by the teacher to stop another kid kicking off...she blatently wasnt listening to what I was saying they when she realised what I'd said she said "you want to move him asap, he'll end up getting withdrawn" etc etc!! Anyway she was obviously rushing off to go and watch coronation street . I remninded her that my interview for different part of job was tomorow, didnt get much of a reation so I told her how I didnt feel like going after the day I'd had only to be met with "oh here she goes, making excuses" , the only reason she's so bothered about the job is because she wants to boast to the family. I wouldn't give the job up anyway but a bit of support wouldnt go amiss you know?

Its like when I was saying about the trouble I'm going to have getting them both to school at different times, I never asked her to help and wasnt intending to but she started with a list of reasons she couldnt anyway.

I just feel quite angry with her today.

lifesteetch, not got anything positive to post, just to let you know I've read your post and you have my sympathy.

Hope someone else can give you some more support.

Thanks

to be honest its not just the phonecall, she annoys me all the time, she messes me around like mad. For instance I have a show booked for the 5th may, its been planned for 2 months and the kids dad is supposed to be having them that night. Anyway 2 months ago I said to my mum "he should be having them, if he does let me down would you be able to have them as I've bought tickets?" she said "of course!".

So for 2 months, every now and again I've brought it up to make sure she's still ok with it, everytime she says "yes I'll have them".

The show is this saturday, my son no longer wants to go to his dads...I mentioned it to my mum and guess what she said? "oh..I'd say I'd have them but it would be a bit awkward really..." ?????????

She did the same thing with a funeral a couple of years ago, it was all arranged that she would have the kids whilst I went (my ex's family, not ours), it was all arranged, who was going in who's car etc...during the week I checked with her a few times to make sure everything was ok and she said it was....

THE MORNING OF THE FUNERAL she decides to tell me "you know, I've been thinking...it's going to be a bit akward really..." so I ended up not being able to go and the family just though I was messing everyone around and said I should've said in the first place if I didnt want to go I don't understand why she's like this.

Hi Lifesteeth

Join our thread 'My mother has cut me out of her life - long sorry'. Sorry can't do links yet.

You don't have to post if you don't want to, but sometimes it just helps to read other peoples stories.

I won't say what I think of your mother, but I feel angry and upset on your behalf.

hugsxxxxxxx

My Mum messes me about too. I had to do a 3hour course last year. DH took the afternoon off to look after DD3 (aged 6 mths) and was going to look after her/bring her to me if she needed a feed. But DDs1&2 were at school/playgroup and we needed Mum and Dad to collect/look after them afterwards. They had about 3 months notice that we needed help but about 10 days before the course, I was talking about the times DDs would need picking up, and my Mum said that she'd booked the hairdresser for that day and it was the first appointment the hairdresser could do, and couldn't help. Dad ended up looking after both DDs, and he was recovering from a serious illness at the time.

Another time I had to go for my 20wk scan when I was expecting DD3. I asked Mum and Dad straight after I had my 10wk scan, if they could look after DDs 1&2 and, much like you, mentioned it a couple of times. But then when I mentioned it 2-3 weeks before the scan, they said they'd arranged other things and couldn't do it. We ended up having to take DDs to the scan (and it was a long 40minute one too!)

So I know how you feel. It's not that you "expect" your Mum to help very often but just expect her to when asked, and she's said she can. You want her to show a bit of interest (I bet she'd throw a fit if you didn't seem interested when she had something to say!) What annoys me with my family, is that when there's an offer of a BBQ they're round at our house like a shot, or when they need their computers sorted out (DH's a computer programmer), guess who they ring/go to first! I just don't bother asking them to babysit anymore or if I do, I have a back-up plan just in case they let me down.

Just thought I'd bump this thread, how are you doing lifesteeth? I know it can be incrediably hurtful for your mother to show no interest in your life and to let you down. And I cannot even imagine how hard it is to be a single parent. Hope your ex dp/dh takes your ds some weekends. Is your ds okay at school, anything happened there?

Life

My mum is pretty like that too. All over me and ds one minute organising things then binning out and leaving me in a bit of a mess. It's called being flaky.

Sorry you're experiencing this.
x