Men being inconsistent

[PenguinBooksAndBiscuits]

Been musing about this for a while. It's an AIBU really but more appropriate here!
Anyone else get irritated by this, or have some insight into it?

Doesn't seem to matter whether it's a romantic relationship, friendship, or on one occasion a brief fling (holiday), loads of men seem to do this! Or maybe I am picking the wrong ones?!

It seems things tick over nicely and then these men will suddenly change, seem uninterested, and you're left feeling like you're being terribly needy just for wanting things to continue as they were, or at least some kind of explanation or indication as to why the sudden coldness.

The holiday one, for example - a few days together, nice and neat and simple you'd think, as we both know when it's going to end. Enjoying living in the moment. But no, he had to bring in confusion and angst by going all distant on me in the last 12 hours or so. (Ok this one was years ago, but it's such a perfect example of random pointless coldness!)

Why? Is there a way to spot it coming?

Is the explanation not simply what you have just said? They became disinterested and acted accordingly. I don't think its really mysterious 🤔

I suppose so, Les, it just seems so... sudden. Not a gradual decline. And I've not noticed women do the same thing (or all men tbh).

I've never noticed someone do this. Main explanations would seem to be;

1. The guys you select
2. A mixture of 1., and your general relationship patterns.

Re 2; do you "rush" much? I think Ive never experienced this because it wouldnt really be possible. Things dont get particularly close (regular contact, emotional intimacy, etc) for a long time. By that time you have seperated the wheat from the chaff. Although obviously this approach might legitimately put off some alright blokes though. I guess some guys might "suddenly" ghost you or go quiet after 6-12 months but it seems to happen in the first few months from reading about other peoples experiences.

No male friends have ever mentioned this has happened to them. But Im pretty sure female friends have effectively done this, and Ive also read about women ghosting men (which is a more extreme example).

From the sounds of it I think you sound as if you get too emotionally invested too soon / maybe sleeping them too soon.