I am the poster with the speeding husband who can be very controlling and manipulative. It's been so hard for us both for years and he pretty much blames me.
We've had a terrible few weeks.and it has all come to a head. Today he has told me that I have caused his health problems, I'm lazy in the house, I contribute nothing to the marriage or relationship, I am ruining the children and need their love more than they need mine (I am a loosely-based attachment parent), that I am grabby for money (although he backtracked and apologised for saying that when I said how dare he because I am anything but money orientated) and that I am selfish and a liar and nasty and horrible.
He said so many things and I said that we are over this morning after a blue. He's really trying to act as though nothing has happened, saying all the things I have been desperate to hear and I feel sacked in again knowing that the cycle will repeat itself.
For the sake of the children we have had as normal a day as we can and he has told me he loves me and keeps offering gentle caring hugs and touches. I do love him and have told him that but this just cannot continue.
What now? We have two DC aged 5 and 1. I'm. A SAHM with not a penny to my name and I've been completely dependent on him for years. I know I've been sucked in by him and it's a typical situation. I have draft papers already with a SHL and I really only need to press the button. But I just can't. I was very clear about separating and I need to hold my head but I'm not even feeling sad or scared....just void and numb.