Relationships in general

[Newlea]

I am married with 2 kids but feel I have no real connection with anyone. Not with my husband or my parents or siblings. I have no close friends either just lots of people I see socially. Does anyone else feel like this?

My husband is a lovely guy, does a lot around the house, plenty of childcare and very supportive of me. But he seems to prefer porn to me. This makes me a bit lonely. He is a bit of a workaholic. I have recently asked him to spend every sat evening with me after kids are in bed and he has agreed. He also won't discuss anything through at length. Any decision has to be made after one conversation. Anything more, he cuts me off. He says I should get out more and do stuff.

My parents and siblings are very busy and not keen on hearing from me much. When I call just to chat and say I have had a hard day or tired, they retort that I should do something about it - get a cleaner, nanny, etc (I work and kids are under 5). Now I have help and am fairly organised. All I am looking for is someone to acknowledge yes it must have been a tiring day. It seems like people in general don't want to talk to me and when they do they just want to hear all is great and get off the phone.

I am beginning to feel very unwanted and invisible.

Newlea that sounds awful for you. No wonder you feel lonely and invisible. Its that old conundrum isn't it, you don't need someone to fix it, just to listen and empathise.

TBH from what you've said of your H (prefers porn to you, won't discuss anything with you, you don't feel like you have a connection with him) he doesn't sound very lovely. Without communication what do you really have? It sounds like you're probably familiar with feeling a bit invisible by the way your parents and siblings also treat you.

In terms of friends there is a group that was set up by some MNers on Facebook called ChuMNs where you could try an meet up with some new local friends or just find people to listen when you want a rant!

But personally, I couldn't be in a relationship where I felt unattractive to my OH and couldn't talk to him. It sounds depressing.

I just get a sense of all these women walking around like bloody ghosts.

If somebody didn't want me 'in the flesh' mind and body, whats the bloody point?

Of course, its horses for courses and a two-way experience.: but this whole 'my partners great but likes to "do" porn more-than-me' - I just don't get it. Maybe its fantasy and their partners are for the grunt work of keeping-house and raising children I have no idea, I just can't get my head round it.

I have felt invisible and lonely in a house of seven so I can see where you're coming from. I'm married of May years also with children work at home and have lost those friends o had connections with still have a few
But it is very hard at times x