Need legal advice on what divorce would mean financially

[Airfixed]

I'm in a dead marriage, infidelity and general unhappiness and we'd be better apart, kids would be happier, we're young enough to start a new chapter. I want out, but I'm worried about the financial implications. We own a big house, I don't work. I really want to stay here as the kids are nearing exams, there are also pensions, money in trust, other assets. I am happy to pay for professional advice from a solicitor: but need a rec for a good one who will understand my situation and lay it on the line for me. Anyone else been in this situation?
Hearty thanks in advance

Yes, I was in a similar situation and split up with my stbx a few months ago.

I saw three solicitors until I found one I really liked, recommended by a friend. It really is worth asking friends for recommendations as a good solicitor who understands where you are coming from makes a massive difference.

A lot of solicitors will do a free first half-hour, so it's worth trying that as you will have a chance to see if they are right for you or not.

Good luck.

It depends on the childrens ages but in recent years courts have sought to balance assets 50:50.

If your H is amicable then that is for the best however if you went to court it can be very judge dependant but broadly asset split of 50:50, cms as per calculator and spousal maintenance for a limited term, maybe 3 years.
You will be expected to support yourself financially through income and tax credits.Spousal maintenance is to get you back on your feet not a long term solution.

Lifestyles of both parties are expected to reduce but often women are hardest hit due to time taken out to raise children and post divorce childcare remains their priority.

Men are typically wealthier post divorce but unhappier.Women are usually signficantly poorer but happier!
So much depends on the man you are divorcing.If he decides to make life tough for you financially then be prepared for a battle.Ex hid money, spent vast sums whilst separated, none of which could be clawed back.Court awarded me a better deal than ex wanted but even though there was supposed to be full disclosure it didn't happen.If you suspect your H could turn nasty get sight of everything and secure savings before separating.

You may well get the house until the kids are older - with me I got the house until the youngest finished his first degree.

Springy, sadly changes in recent times means courts are less generous to women (the caregivers).

There is a bill being proposed by Baroness Deech that will make previoua settlements very unlikely in future.
Her quote is;
"If there is one thing that stops women getting back on their feet and being treated seriously and equally at work, it is the assumption throughout the legal system that once a woman is married she is somehow disabled and incapable ever of managing on her own for the rest of her life.”

“My Bill…would bring England and Wales into line, not only with Scotland but with most of western Europe and most of the American states in splitting matrimonial assets and curbing life-long maintenance.”

She proposes a limit of spousal support at 2 or 3 years and no deviation from 50:50.
All very well but men must step and share childcare.In my case ex refuses to limit his work in anyway yet he doesn't have to contribute to childcare costs.This proposal is being adopted by many judges now.

Hi I'm a divorce lawyer. The starting point in a long marriage is 50/50 but this is only the starting point and where there are children there is often a departure from equality in order to meet needs. Each case is decided on it's own merits and there are numerous factors which would come into play in deciding the appropriate settlement. Despite what the previous contributor says, this is how it would be dealt with today and any changes are not likely to take effect very quickly. It's all very well.saying that men should adjust their working pattern to take on a fair share of childcare but the knock on effect would be less income to pay spousal.maibtenance and less child maintenance. It works both ways. If this is what women want then they need also to earn their own incomes but the reality is that men are generally still the main breadwinners and practically it doesn't often work.