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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Husbands stupid habits

17 replies

madhub · 02/05/2007 14:45

My husband has recently become obsessed with healthy eating but just because he wants to be fit and healthy he is insisting that the rest of us are too. Anyway he watched this program which said you can tell how healthy a person is by the smell of their poo and whether it floats or not so he insisted that nobody flush the toilet until he had inspected it. DS and DD agreed but I thought it was stupid and embarrasing so I refused to take part.

He's been monitoring the kids poo's for the past few days and is getting irritated that I won't let him do mine. He likes to be in the bathroom asap so he can check the smell before it goes. This usually involves him standing around the bathroom door and then bursting in as soon as he hears the chain being pulled. This morning I opened the door after using the toilet and DH barged in knocking me flying and checked the smell...yesterday when he came flying in he almost broke my arm.

We have friends coming over at weekend and he has already said he would like to monitor their health. I'm dreading this and am worried about what they will think.

OP posts:
Hassled · 02/05/2007 14:47

He is insane.

Smaug · 02/05/2007 14:48

You need a VERY firm word with him. Totaly unacceptable behaviour, IMO.

aDad · 02/05/2007 14:50

hahaha

now this is good trolling

donnie · 02/05/2007 14:50

trip trap , where is that bridge....

although this is clearly a wind up, it's also funny. If it was a genuine post I would recommend shitting in a bowl and serving it up to your dear beloved as his main course and asking him what he thinks. No doubt your visitors will be only too happy to poo in front of their host and have the said poo inspected. How about some coprophilia while you are all at it ? I hear it can be fun, if a little messy.

wurlywurly · 02/05/2007 14:51

cook a really hot curry/chilli for dinner and let him sniff that after.

tarantula · 02/05/2007 14:52

Tell him he shouldnt believe everything he sees on the telly or read on the net. And if he wants to monitor peoples health he needs to go get a proper qualification from an acreddited institution

Hassled · 02/05/2007 14:53

There's some herbal peppermint IBS remedy that makes your poo smell minty fresh - that should blow his mind .

DonnyLass · 02/05/2007 14:53

oh

i so wanted this to be a real thread so I could list DH's criminal atrocities and then realise

its me who's the difficult one ...

jalopy · 02/05/2007 14:55
Hmm
Beachcomber · 02/05/2007 14:55

Would he check out my family's poo if I post some pictures of it?

Many thanks!

aDad · 02/05/2007 14:59

He could start a company. Perhaps with Gillian McKeith.

The poo police. (The Poolice?) no 'job' too small.

donnie · 02/05/2007 14:59

pmsl aDad!!

sillycone · 02/05/2007 15:02

My partner has hairs and bits if fluff in his poo, could you ask your DH if this is a bad sign?

Ifonlyhewould · 02/05/2007 15:04

Put a plastic joke poo down the loo, it won't flush away so should keep him occupied for hours

PetronellaPinkPants · 02/05/2007 15:14

pick up a dog poo and leave that in the loo
that should flummox him!

brightwell · 02/05/2007 17:33

I've got a copy of the Bristol Stool form chart if anybody wants it so they can "chart" their poo's!

cece · 02/05/2007 17:38

brightwell I have just found the Bristol Stool Form Chart by googling it! I never knew such a thing existed... I am going to print it and leave by the toilet. See if I get any comments

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