Thoughts please...a little confused!

[GinPleaseOrTen]

Would appreciate some thoughts on the below please ladies - interested or not?

So I was seeing a guy early last year, both out of longish relationships and it didn't work out as I got pretty intense and insecure due to previous relationship, eating disorder and work - we've had conversations about why I was the way I was since. We decided we'd do the whole casual thing.

Fast forward to now, the first time I've seen him in around 6 months although we've kept in touch regularly throughout, maybe going 10 days max without messaging. We ended up in bed last night and it was different from when we were meeting casually - he was kissing me on the forehead before hand and then more kissing during as well as a cuddle after. When it was casual, bare minimum with the kissing and absolutely no cuddles. He also mentioned seeing me again tomorrow and gave me a hug before heading out the door which was never done when we were FWB.

I feel he's maybe interested but don't want to ask at risk of sounding too intense again, I realise this is probably a bit childish but would be interested to hear what you all think!

When it was casual, bare minimum with the kissing and absolutely no cuddles

Wow. I'm a sex worker and I wouldn't usually expect this level of disengagement from my paying clients.

Sounds like he's badly misunderstood the "F" part of FWB. I'd bin him off if I were you.

He treated you poorly before. Really poorly. Continue counselling and believe you deserve more than crumbs.

Thanks for your opinions.

I'm not trying to protect him but he really had no idea what was going on with me before. After our chat and some explanation of why I was the way I was, he seems to have changed the way he acts towarss me but I will certainly consider your responses when deciding what to do about tomorrow.

I’d be busy. I’m not really a game player but in this case it seems that he expects you to just go along with whatever pace he’s happy with. You run the risk of getting swept along with his enthusiasm and then let down again when if he freaks out.

Be cool, be busy, have other things happening and see him as a welcome addition but beware getting caught up with it again when he’s been that way with you before.

Yeah I'm not very into games and do like him (I know,I know) but think I'll give myself some space for now.

What will be will be I guess!

OP - you said you had issues with insecurity - and I think you still have some of that.
Btw - you never mentioned what happened - why your stopped the FWB arrangement and haven’t seen each other in 6mo....

But generally - I wouldn’t read too much into one sexual encounter that involved more kissing than usual.
People - men, women - can be very different in intimate situations and it may depend on many things. Can (but doesn’t) necessarily mean something about the relationship.
You just can’t tell based on one instance.

So - given your 6mo break and your tendency so get too fast too deep - just be careful and try not to assume or read anything. Just give it time.

Yes I probably am still quite insecure - part and parcel of a dickhead ex who was in it for the dollar I would imagine!

With regards to the 6 months break, it was generally our availability and a mutual realisation that casual sex between us probably wasn't going to be the best set up for either party.

I know I shouldn't read too much into it, I just saw a marked change last night but really need to keep it chilled so as not to cause any alarm/look overly keen.