Really upset

[needtogetfit]

So my Husband had to work last night in a night shift, it was our daughters 6th birthday yesterday but she was at school so I did the present opening and all that after school and then had the kids until 10 this morning she he finished work, we left the house and went to the party that we sorted for my daughters 6th birthday. We had a good time however then we come home and he said he would cook because I have been doing it most of the week whilst he's been at work. Then we get home and he said it's getting too late and he won't cook now as he has a Night out planned and he has to go so I end up sorting her kids a Quick tea and haven't bothered making myself anything because to be honest I'm just too tired ! I'm so angry that he never says no to a night out, even though he knows most evenings I've been alone this week as he's either been working or going to the gym! Also I don't trust him when he goes out due to his past. Today he got a phone call a missed call and I saw it come up on his phone it came up as 'England UK' and registered on the home screen as that and he has a code so couldn't go and investigate further and I highly suspect he's saved a number under that name but he tried shushing me up that that's how the person who called come up and he doesn't know who it is. He walked off so I suspect he's hiding something but he was calling me paranoid and all that. I'm sick of watching him go out and have fun whilst I have to do bedtime routine and I then have to spend all night worrying and not being able to sleep at the thought of what he's up to. We been together since I was 17 ( I'm 30 next week)/'d he got me when I was at my most vulnerable ( I have low self esteem as always have and I come from a broken alcoholic dependant home by my parents) and now I feel like be settled for him and see no way of getting out

To top it off I bought myself a bottle of prosecco just it relax and keenly kind of things and that's just fell and smashed all over the floor so looks like I'm in for a shit night...

Am I being unreasonable to be upset?

It is upsetting, but it does sound like you know what he's like and you've just sort of accepted it?

You do know that your life isn't going to change much as long as you're with him. He's doing what he wants and doesn't care what you want.

What do you want to do?

I'd be evaluating things. His priorities doesn't seem to be with you.

Thank you

I know he's hiding something because the person who rang him, in his call log it says 'England uk' and underneath it says 'home' if this was some company that rang him it wouldn't say that underneath it wouldn't say that would it. He knows he can cheat on me as much as he wants because where am I gonna go with no reliable family and when no one else would ever want me ? I might as well end it all now

Oh you poor thing. He sounds like an awful partner. It's time for you to stand up for yourself. Tell him he has disrespected you once to often and now he needs to leave. Your life will be like this forever if you let him away with this all of the time. Is this how your children deserve to be treated?

He's made me so dependant on him. I can't make choices without having him in my head and I'm thinking ' would my husband make this choice.. would he do this?'

I feel like I've lost me! He's made me so dependant on him for reassurance and acceptance. Is that abuse? How do I get away from that.

I've just text him how I feel and he's responded with 'like 😂'

Feel so alone

How do I access help? I need to talk to someone or else I will go mad !

GPS usually refer to group therapy but it's not for me. How do I speak to someone 1-1.

I'm really struggling

Have you tried Samaritans or ringing women's aid? You can do this op. He's dragged you down so far you poor thing. Would you like to talk on here?

Update

Well my husband arrived home at 5:30 in the morning. He made some lame excuse that he was so drunk he passed out at his friends which I know is rubbish!
The number he has saved under that name was actually an old work mate of his ( a female) who I asked him to cut contact with because she once made lies up about me to my husband just so he would go mad at me.. she is also very flirtatious around him so I asked him to cut contact with her. He said he would, then I find out he's still in contact with her. Either that or he's using her as a scapegoat to hide any other woman. I'm just so upset and he can't see why!!