Long term relationships..

[rosybell]

I wanted to ask if anyone has any advice or pearls of wisdom about keeping your relationship with your DP/DH fun/romantic/sparky - even when you've been together ages?

I've been with DP for about 15 years - I love him deeply, I still find him really attractive. I love watching him with our kids , he is a great Dad. Nothing is wrong with our relationship really.

But just had a 'date night ' ( well he cooked a nice dinner & we had a bottle of champagne) it just felt a bit flat. Conversation was stilted, didn't have sex. Couldn't quite fully be my 'best self' (ha!) with him. Maybe we were too knackered, not sure. This is just one example but recently I've been finding this when it's just us without the kids.

Any advice keeping the spark alive?

Why don’t you try something new together? Make another date night and, instead of having the usual dinner and a movie, go paintballing or go on a hot air ballon ride or something random? If it’s crap you’ll at least have something to talk and laugh about.

I’m far from a relationship expert but I think openly recognising that your date night was a bit flat and talking about it can go a long way to sorting it, especially if you propose things to try. It will let your OH know how much you value him.

Hope this helps xx

Maybe because the evening was called a 'date' night there was a fair degree of expectation on you both to 'sparkle' - which might have muted things.

If the date night was your suggestion perhaps he was anticipating you might, you know, do something a little different - employ a few seductive moves, so to speak. Or it could have been that you're both a bit rusty in being alone without DCs in the background.

I think the suggestion to go out somewhere/ do something different is a great one because it provides you with a readymade conversation starter and something to share!