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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What to do please help.

2 replies

Lollypops20181 · 16/02/2018 23:20

Basically partner 15 plus years. He has suffered from MH problems for many years. Both parents chronic alcoholics. He has been no contact with his deeply damaging mother for many years who has made various accusations about my father (their affair - never happened, my father being ladies mans etc.- father highly successful businessman & “well to do”)
Anyway. We went to Australia to visit his sister, recovering heroin addict. Two years ago. Partner decides to tell me this PM that his sister told him that on that trip (we were joined for 4 days by my father who was on business) that he had “his hand low down her back/bottom when they embraced when they met”. I am a childhood sexual violence survivor and my father deplores any innuendos or violence against women and I am deeply traumatised by this allegation. I don’t know what to do. Partner says this relates to all the stuff his alcoholic mother has said about my father in the past - my sister in law very easily manipulated by mother. I don’t know what to do - tell my father and devastate him, ask her what happened (he was never around her without me and my two children being around).

I am so traumatised. I can’t think straight. Please help me to understand what to do (if anything). I actually feel very unwell, like I need medical help.

OP posts:
Teabay · 17/02/2018 07:52

Not sure how to help, but someone will have better advice soon.
Flowers for you.

BackInTheRoom · 17/02/2018 13:05

OP Google Codependency.

His parents are alcoholics, your DP has MH issues and his sister is a recovering Heroin addict.

I honestly don't know what to suggest you do but I would do nothing until maybe you've read around the subject of Co-dependency and addiction? Maybe once you know what you're dealing with, you'll know how to communicate about these accusations?

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