How can I ever meet someone new?

[Jessie06]

Ive been single for over 3yrs now, I have 2 kids, 14 and 11.

I don't have a social life, I have nobody to watch the kids while I go out unless my ex 'might' be around. My parents recently moved over 70miles away, they used to look after them on the odd occasion I went out.
I don't really have any friends to go out with anyway, the few friends I do have are always doing their own thing really.
Anything I do, I do with the kids they are with me 24/7 really..

My ex doesn't have any consistency with them, and I have no idea when he will see them next, he does usually see them a few times a week but which day or what time is anyone's guess so I cant really pre-arrange anything or have much time to myself, as when he does come he either stays here or takes them out for a few hrs max. He hasn't had them to stay at his since last summer.
I've asked him time and again to have them more and be more consistent, even just turn up at a reasonable time so you can do stuff with them,(usually turns up late afternoon) but he will never change and Im tired of asking. This prevents me from going and doing any hobbies or anything.

I've tried online dating but don't really like it, I guess I would prefer to met someone naturally if you know what I mean. The men who do message me are never my type and the odd few I have messaged don't reply.

I think I'm ready to be in a relationship again now. I don't want to spend another summer sitting on my own when I take the kids places or another holiday with them alone. I'm not the most confident person and would find it hard to meet strangers ,hence why I don't really like online dating, but I don't really see how else I can possibly meet anyone any other way?!

I don't really know what sort of advice I'm after really, just feeling a bit down with it all recently.

FWIW I pay a 14 year old to babysit my 7 and 3 year old....

Thanks Guys, I've been looking at the meetups website, but unfortunately some things I might be interested in are during the day when I work or too far away, but I'll keep checking for anything.

@bibbidee I get what you are saying and I know I'm being taken for a mug. My kids don't really know any different so they don't see how it should be. My DD however does know he will never turn up at the time he gives and has said he is a liar several times, but she is still happy to see him when he does come and I couldn't easily take that away from her.
If he lived more local it might be a bit easier as he would have somewhere to take them or couldn't have excuses of traffic etc. But that won't happen as he chose to live nearly an hrs drive away (my fault again)
He can be quite manipulative, and somewhat controlling and I'm tired of fighting him.
I'm not even sure if I met someone how he would react, he'd probably make things even more difficult, or it might make him back off a bit (he calls/texts me everyday even though I've asked him not to) Its very unfair as he has been in a relationship himself since the day he moved out, but won't allow me to move on!

You can create your own Meetup group. That way you will be the organiser and it's less daunting to turn up and make friends. On an evening to suit you, when you can get a babysitter. The Meetup could be anything you'd enjoy, but best to keep the name open so the activities can change each week/month. For example 'over 30s social' and you link the events into other local events: 10k walk, pub quiz nights, book club, cookery classes etc.

Right sweetie, you really need to take control of this. Your ex is currently holding all of the cards. Come on...you are stronger than this and you know it!! Put down boundaries, you pick them up at 'x' , you collect them at 'x'. You have done the hard graft, now YOU deserve a life. Come on sweetie, if you can bring up two kids on your own, you are invincible. You can do this. How would you feel on your death bed, if it's all been about others. You need to take a little for yourself. xx

What about asking on FB for reliable babysitters in your area? Someone is bound to recommend one and that way you'll already be able to vet them somewhat. Book a couple of hours just to give yourself a break and if all goes well then it can extend to having someone reliable (not nosey ex) who you can call on if you meet someone online you'd like to date.

Well I have a argument with him on the phone tonight as he is ringing trying to have general chit chat so I've got a bit humpty and asked when he is seeing them next,. so now I'm all stressed out. Its the usual excuses and getting angry with me for making out he is a deadbeat dad
All he cares about is me not wanting to talk to him and 'trying' to distance myself more and more...grrrrr.
I swear he will never let me move on anyway, but that's a whole different thread

@Jessie06

This is exactly why divorced and separated people use email to communicate with each other.

As well as only communicating by email with your ex, this situation might benefit from a 'Parenting Plan':

www.cafcass.gov.uk/download/4365

Hello lovely ladies. For those not asking friends to babysit as they are with their families....JUST ASK! I do understand what you are saying but I bet they won't mind occasionally babysitting. Maybe offer to have their kids in return another time. I babysit for a single parent friend of mine once a month. She helps me with my kids too when I need it.

You deserve some time for you , please ask your support network.
Good luck xx

Thanks for the suggestion and support guys