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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Finally left a bad relationship but feeling guilty how it's going to affect others

9 replies

memyselfandi1 · 15/02/2018 22:06

Apologise in advance if this is long sorry

Left yesterday going no contact that's the easy part after 6 years of shit

OP posts:
memyselfandi1 · 15/02/2018 22:09

Of crap sorry

But leaving means I'm going to affect others I have to dislodge a wonderful tennant from my house she isn't well but I need my house back I'm planning to get new stuff and all I can think about is how this will hurt her but I couldn't carry on where I was it isn't sitting well with me it's so hard

He was so abusive that's hard enough to cope with but affecting others is worse how do you cope she hasn't done anything wrong and it's going to be awful for her

OP posts:
headinhands · 16/02/2018 07:57

Being a private tenant she'll know that the tenancy can end at some point. How much time can you give her?

memyselfandi1 · 16/02/2018 09:39

Headinhands 60 days but I just feel awful about it guess it has to be done so much going on

OP posts:
headinhands · 16/02/2018 11:41

That's a very reasonable amount of time. Sounds like you need to prioritise yourself. If you've been in an abusive relationship you're probably used to feeling guilty when there's no reason to. Thanks

memyselfandi1 · 16/02/2018 12:14

Headinhands you are definitely right always feeling guilty is definitely me and putting others first became the norm good advice thank you x

OP posts:
hellsbellsmelons · 16/02/2018 12:45

It's crap but I'm sure she will understand.
You are giving her plenty of notice.
After 6 years of crap, sorry, but it's time to put yourself first.
I'm glad you got away. Well done.
Now ensure you contact Womens Aid and get some support.
Do their Freedom Programme as soon as you can.

memyselfandi1 · 16/02/2018 13:10

Hellbells a lot of advice to go to women's aid I don't need help as such now I'm out and counselling started a few weeks ago prior to me leaving but what is the plan you refer to? X

OP posts:
headinhands · 17/02/2018 00:31

The Freedom Project is a weekly support group for people who've experienced an abusive relationship. I think it runs on a 6 week cycle but you're welcome to join at any point and to attend as long as you need.

I actually think we need something like this in schools when looking at how many very intelligent people tolerate such detrimental behaviour from a partner.

memyselfandi1 · 17/02/2018 10:36

Hells bells ok that sounds helpful and yes I agree school children should be made aware and equipped with how to deal with it x thank you

OP posts:
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