To make an issue of this...or not?

[Lalala81]

I'm just looking some advice please. My dp who I have been with for 18 month and I have recently decided to TTC but I have suspected for quite a while he has a porn addiction.

Anyway, this was month number 1 and we have had sex only once during this cycle. We have done other things but I'm not going to have an immaculate conception especially at my age. He doesn't want me to track ovulation as it would put him under too much pressure apparently. I tracked it anyway in private as wanted to know if and when I ovulate and my most fertile time was 2 days ago. Very frustrating!!

Yesterday (Valentine's Day of course!!) I went up to bed at 11:30 so late on a week night and he said he would be up in 10 minutes. At 1:30 I woke up at 1.30am and went downstairs. I have never seen anybody jump up so quickly and could hear him closing his laptop. I asked what he was doing and he said he was just playing a computer game.

He has said to me before he watches porn which I told him I'm ok with as long as it doesn't affect his time or desire for me. However, I'm feeling it's having more and more of an impact especially as we are supposed to be trying for a baby. Actually the way he reacted last night has me worried he was doing more than just watching porn or makes me concerned as to what sort of porn it is. I don't know how to approach this as don't want a row. Am I right to be concerned?

I would seriously question his commitment to having a child . You should be concerned as his addiction is already having an impact on your life.

Thanks for the reply. I know that I'll have to bring it up with him but don't know how. Also I'm not sure if I'm making a big deal over nothing. I was more annoyed it was valentine's, he was feeling in the mood but chose his computer over me. I've told him before that it affects my already low self-esteem.

I'm also worried he'll just deny it as I didn't actually see the screen. The thing is I'm not stupid and know what he was doing. The way he reacted said it all!! I suspect now that he's been doing this most nights when he says he will follow me up to bed but takes ages. I would say it has increased in frequency (ie most nights now) and it's making me feel so undesirable.

There is a big difference between porn use and porn addiction. Does he acknowledge he has a problem?

What do you get out of this relationship now, what has kept you with such a selfish man at all?. No wonder your self esteem is through the floor.

I would stop TTC with him immediately, this is no relationship to bring a child into either.

All this man cares about is getting his own needs met, you are of no real concern to him and this does not sound like a mutually loving relationship, this man seems to love only his own self here.

I would also think that your self esteem would lift if you were to leave him.