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Original poster

How do you show your spouse you love him?

15 replies

ConfusedWife1234 · 15/02/2018 11:16

Maybe an odd question. My spouse is not the overly affectionate type. I think his love language is acts of service.
Sometimes I am a bit detached from him. I think because we have different love languages. It is one of the reasons.
Yesterday he brought me flowers. So sweet. Actually I had planned to cook a valentines menu for him but then ended up not doing it... lack of time.

So when I tell him I love him, cuddle him, not sure if it means sooo much to him.... and I want to show him as much as possible and thinks I am sometimes just do involved with household, children and so on. So just wanted to know what you do.

OP posts:
bitzy12 · 15/02/2018 11:50

I just do little things for my dh. Like if I nip to the shop I'll buy him his favourite chocolate bar. Sometimes I'll leave it out with a little note saying 'I love you' or something. He will do similar little things for me.

We aren't loaded and can't afford to be extravagant but we do little things like that for each other. I'll text him pretty much every day telling him I love him.

Just recently he's been looking after me as I've been very poorly and I've appreciated him more than I ever have. He's been making breakfast for me without me asking etc...

The little things mean way much more than the big things for us.

Original poster
ConfusedWife1234 · 15/02/2018 11:52

Thanks for sharing.

OP posts:
demirose87 · 15/02/2018 11:57

Little things, buy him a chocolate bar or bottle of pop when I go in to buy them for the kids, massage his feet after work, let him have his "game time", make most of our meals, tell him all the time I love him.

bitzy12 · 15/02/2018 11:58

I also sometimes take him his lunch at work, sometimes I'll just turn up if I know where he is. Dh will also put our wedding songs on from time to time which I find very sweet, especially if I'm in a bad mood

GeekyWombat · 15/02/2018 12:01

I tell him so every day, but I know that's not his love language (if that's the terminology).

He's a 'doing thoughtful little things' sort of person and I mirror the same. There's always a bag of his favourite amaretti in the house cause he likes to have one with his coffee. If he's looking knackered or the kids are being a bit full on at the weekend I'll send him off for a bath for an hour.

Also, sex ;)

Original poster
ConfusedWife1234 · 15/02/2018 12:02

demirose I used to do this but my hubby was so unhappy with his weight. So he changed his diet. Used to make cookies and muffins for him.
He still likes that a lot but it would not be fair for him cause he was soooo unhappy with his weight.
I changed my cooking to more healthful cooking. I cook nearly every day for the kids and reheat it when he comes home... but you know, healthful cook g does not have as much „heart“ as cupcakes. I have yet to find a really healthful comfort food recipe.

OP posts:
mindutopia · 15/02/2018 12:04

I would say we do things to support each other and we make sure the other feels appreciated. We aren't really into big grand displays of affection or cuddling or any of that. But we make sure the other always feels supported. If one of us is sick or tired, the other one jumps in to take care of them, do the school runs, cook dinner, make sure they have a cup of tea. We make sure whoever needs a break has it when they need it or doesn't have to be stressed about things. And we do it without whinging or usually needing to be asked. I personally don't need lots of physical affection and I don't appreciate cards or flowers or any of that. But I feel like my dh loves me because he just steps in and takes care of things and makes sure I'm happy and am not overwhelmed without me having to ask. And we take time to be with each other. We don't prioritise hobbies or going out with friends (not that we don't do those sometimes). We spend time together and we relax together and put each other first. And I think we both really try to make sure the other feels appreciated. I say thank you when he leaves work early to do the school run when I'm sick and he says thank you to me for cooking dinner each night. It's little stuff. It's not gifts or big gestures.

Lkjem · 15/02/2018 12:05

I sometimes let him talk to me before I've had coffee in the morning.

Original poster
ConfusedWife1234 · 15/02/2018 12:07

lol

OP posts:
demirose87 · 15/02/2018 14:34

I'm doing slimming world at the moment and he's doing it too to support me. We've been having our usual meals but adapting to slimming world, so things like spaghetti Bolognese, gammon steaks, fried egg and chips.

AnneLovesGilbert · 15/02/2018 14:36

I'm nice to his children Grin

Blaablaablaa · 15/02/2018 15:57

It's two things for me.... kindness and being made a priority.
Kindness is a trait that's often overlooked but for me it's what makes me feel happy and secure in a relationship.
Feeling like you're a priority and that your partner is proud of you is also key....having been in a relationship where I was waaaay down on his list of priorities it's nice to be with someone who puts me and our children first.

Namechanged36 · 15/02/2018 16:08

Lkjem wins prize for going beyond the call of duty.

MachineBee · 15/02/2018 16:14

I’m nice to his DM. I’m nice to his DCs. I support his interests and I say thank you when he does extra stuff to help me out.

He’s nice to my DF. He’s nice to my DCs. He does lots of little things for me including a cuppa first thing in bed. He supports my interests and pulls his weight with household stuff.

Ultimately we both value time together and small daily acts of kindness.

Bluetone6 · 15/02/2018 16:28

Lots of sex. Keeps him very happy! I’ve always found men to be fairly simple creatures!

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