I can’t cope anymore

[StandardRussian66]

I can write too much because am always accused of being troll.
I have had to leave university for illness. I will struggle to get job wit this illness. I have ended good relationship with good man because I always ruin things for myself. I can not see any future for myself or my DD. I can not move back to my home country because it is worse there. I have lost baby.
I feel like I can not cope anymore. I don’t want to be shouted at, but MN is the only place I can talk right now.

First of all hugs. It sounds like you have a lot going on, could you ask someone to have your child whilst you hunt for jobs? Could you talk to your ex and explain that you seem to stop yourself from being happy. Don't go home as there is lots more support for you here than in Russia (assuming that's where you're from.) Don't be too hard on yourself and ask for help!

Mum mother is here, making things worse

Anybody else there?
I can’t talk to ex, I was very horrible to him.

What do you need to talk about.

What do you want to do next?

I don’t know, I feel very stuck now. I had plan which now I can’t do and don’t see how it will get better.

Hey, you sound overwhelmed and stressed. You need to start tackling everything one by one rather than in one go. Once you start making progress, hope will slowly return and you'll find yourself again. don't be hard on yourself, you can do this ! :)

I will try and start somewhere. I don’t know where.