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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Advice please

5 replies

Andromeida29 · 14/02/2018 14:02

Bit of a long one but advice needed.
A few years ago my mother died leaving two teenage children who then went in to the care of my sibling. The father of the youngest two(not on the bc) had disappeared but was abusive when around, tried it on with my sister when she was 13, wanted my sister and I to wear a hijab etc, wanted the female sibling to be circumcised. NC for many years. After mother died a card was sent to the children, we decided to not tell the youngest siblings as we felt they had been through enough (13 at the time of the letter). 2 years ago, his family turned up and his nephew had him on the phone (he is in Iraq) and he was asking my autistic sibling to help him get back in the country. After the family left, we contacted the Police and Social Services/schools etc. The family have not been in contact. The father kept calling me, my sibling (carer of youngest siblings), via phone and on Facebook. We blocked him as the siblings want nothing to do with him. He's now sent a letter via his family in Birmingham asking for help to get a visa to get back in to the country. I'm really worried as his family were told by the Police to keep away and not to get in contact but they are obviously ignoring this warning. Should we go to the Police and make them aware? The letter is full of lies (he was married to our mother when they weren't, he left for so many years because he had Alzheimer's but now he is cured). He has a history of violence towards women and I'm worried that his family might try something. Advice please.

OP posts:
Situp · 14/02/2018 14:06

I would definitely talk to the police. They will know what steps to take and if he is planning to come into the UK illegally by claiming to have been married to your mum I would report it and distance yourselves from him and his family.

Zebra31 · 14/02/2018 14:09

I would speak to the police.

Andromeida29 · 14/02/2018 14:10

Thanks Situp, my sibling (carer of younger ones) doesn't think there's any point contacting the Police but I do. We're not in contact with the family and don't even know where they live I have voice messages on Facebook threatening me that he's going to take them. They are over 16 now.

OP posts:
hellsbellsmelons · 14/02/2018 14:51

Police - call 101 and get their advice.
You need to ensure he doesn't get back here.
I'd like to know what cured his Alzheimer's - my mum could do with that pronto!
Some people are sooooo soooooo stupid it's unreal. What a thing to put in a letter.

Andromeida29 · 14/02/2018 14:52

Thanks everyone. I think speaking to the Police is the only way to go. My concern is that he got in to the country illegally last time and he could do it again.

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