Stbx trying to gaslight my solicitor

[thisishard2]

saying that he has sent her information which he hasn't - at any stage (replies to our questionnaire) - and why are we late with our answers (we aren't - we are waiting for a date from him when we can exchange). His Form E was lacking almost everything, so the questionnaire was basically asking him to provide it. It would be masses and masses of paper if he had actually answered the questions.

It's a bit frightening and I am shaking, but what does he think he will achieve by doing this ? I can see why he gaslights me at times, but does he honestly think he is going to pull the wool over the solicitor's eyes??

That's really not gaslighting. Gaslighting is an attempt to cobvience one's victim that they are going mad by lying naked after the play where the chap would turn down the gaslights and then lying when she asked whether he thought they were dinner. Often in litigation idiots will attempt to conceal information this way, it's not a mind game. The judge always ends up getting annoyed at them and sometimes there will also be repercussions if they are in breach of CPR. Just stop worrying about it and let your solicitor handle it. There is a reason why you are paying her-she gets to be the one to deal with your lovely ex. The best thing you can do for your case is to do exactly what your solicitor tells you.

*named

It's a hard habit to break!

Is this voluntary disclosure, or have you issued? If It's voluntary, I would stop wasting time and issue without any more messing around. He isn't going to do a deal this way.

I can see why you may find this frightening and upsetting. However your solicitor will be used to people playing games when they divorce.
Your soliciter is not emotionally involved with STBX so his behaviour will not bother the solicitor.

All in a days work for her op. Shes not emotionally involved so will just see him for utter knob that he undoubtedly is. I remember this from my days doing divorce work you just and get another coffee.

Thanks all - I take your point(s) that it is part of her job and she is not emotionally involved - thank goodness - I don't know what I would do without her. I was shaking for quite a while after seeing stbx's email. That and the fact that the grief in general is quite hard to bear - I also think that H is already (and at lightning speed) in a new relationship .

Yes we have issued MrsBert and the second hearing is at the end of March. At the first hearing all of my solicitor's questions were kept as she is basically asking for the entirety of his form - since so much of it was missing.

I was hoping we could do a deal and not go to the second hearing, but things like this make it look like it won't be possible.

Sounds like you've got a good one there OP. Just let her deal with the nonsense, and keep looking ahead.

Good luck.

Thank you.