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Original poster

How did you know that you met your soulmate?

15 replies

ConfusedMotherOfOne · 13/02/2018 06:43

What if you set up life with someone but then meet someone who could be 'the one'?

OP posts:
Huntinginthedark · 13/02/2018 06:49

I think most people would say that there is no such thing as a soulmate and that if you’re feeling like this there is something wrong in your current relationship that you have to look at and deal with one way or another without getting anyone else involved

wewentoutonsunday · 13/02/2018 06:55

This has happened to me. Currently trying to deal with it. At first it was very difficult, but I love DH very much and am at the stage of seeing it as PP has said, and am addressing things in our marriage that I think could be better.

It is still not easy, but I am confident that we can improve our marriage. I haven't told DH, obviously, but I am now managing to feel almost grateful: hard as it is to have these conversations, I believe that, had this not happened, I would just be accepting certain things in our marriage that are simply not good enough - and now I have hopefully created the opportunity to make them better for us.

Sometimes I have dreams/daydreams which play out rather differently. But I'm trying to be kind to myself - I'm only human, after all.

MaidenMotherCrone · 13/02/2018 06:57

The people who believe in Soulmates are the ones who've met theirs. I didn't believe in them and was in a very long marriage. That ended. I met my Soulmate and now have my Happy ever after.

Could be isn't the same as IS. I'd concentrate on the relationship you have tbh.

isthismylifenow · 13/02/2018 07:02

We met when he was newly divorced, and I was married. I don't like to use the word soul mate, so I will just say there is a connection there that I have never ever felt before.

As I was married, we stayed friends, nothing more. We broke contact when he moved away, he met someone and got married. We came back into contact a few years later, now I am divorced, the situation completely flipped from how it was.

I think of him a lot, but it can never be. Its the same for him, we have spoken openly about it, but I wont jeopardise what he has now, like he didn't years back when situation was different.

It does make me sad, but then again, I just think that it is just not meant to be for some reason.

Original poster
ConfusedMotherOfOne · 13/02/2018 07:09

I've never believed in soulmates either. Always said I was happy before OH and will be happy after, don't believe in that rubbish. I've tried leaving 3 times in the last month or so, saying I'm done, I'm not happy. He won't go. He's very controlling and has been emotionally abusive in the past, but said he's changed. I just don't think he's the one for me. But we have an 18 month old. I was unhappy before I even questioned our "soulmate" status but just plodding along, I think. OH hasn't even changed our child's nappy or had alone time. He's really disappointed me as a father.

But now my path has crossed with someone and we are both questioning the meaning of life daily and we don't know if we are just terrible people or if this is something. It feels like something. We haven't done anything, physically. We both just feel like we will end up together, somehow. It's so strange. I've never felt it before. I feel like he's my person.

OP posts:
Huntinginthedark · 13/02/2018 09:44

Leave your dp and get yourself sorted.
Then see how it goes with him slowly. Don’t have an affair and then it gets all messy. It’s not worth it.
It will taint what you have with him

Myheartbelongsto · 13/02/2018 09:52

No such thing as soulmates. Are you at the start of an emotional affair?

user1493413286 · 13/02/2018 09:54

I met my OH years ago and we tried to be together but through various issues such as kids, illness in families and jobs it didn’t work out and we both had other relationships during this time but I always felt that connection to him and that things should have been different. 6 years after first meeting we got together again and we’ve been together since.
At one point we were talking when we were both in relationships and I realised I wanted to be with him; I didn’t know if he wanted to be with me but just on the basis that I wanted to be with someone else I knew I had to leave the ex partner as it wasn’t fair on them. If you have real feelings for this person then don’t have a crossover with the relationship with your husband and make sure you’re leaving your husband because you aren’t happy; not because the grass is greener.

demirose87 · 13/02/2018 09:59

I was lucky as mine appeared in my life about 6 months after my previous awful relationship had ended. I knew after about a week he was the one for me. I would have left my previous partner in a heartbeat if I had met him while I was still with my ex. But I know it's not always as easy as that. People can go through rough patches where the grass is greener on the other side, and could set themselves up to lose a lot. But for me, I knew it was time to move on.

fantasmasgoria1 · 13/02/2018 09:59

We were both single when we met but it was like there was something pulling us together. Even over a year later when we are apart it’s like it’s painful. We moved in together after a couple of months as when either he went home or I did we cried and it was painful. We are just extremely connected to each other, very in tune to each other and love each other madly! I found it weird to begin with as I had never felt love like it before but it’s really is amazing!

isthismylifenow · 13/02/2018 10:03

Confused, please be careful that you are not confusing the situation. By this I mean, you say you are not happy... why are you there again if you have left three times.

If you want to leave, leave. Your baby is young yes, but how long will you continue to live like this. Don't leave because of OM though..... leave if you feel you need to.... and then see what comes of it.

Lalimerente · 13/02/2018 17:25

I did not want to read and run I don't believe in soulmates sadly. I have been in a fairly unhappy marriage so I know how you feel though

I though I had met my soulmate once but I don t think he felt that way. He is now my limerence object ever after. And about 600 miles away at the best of times Confused

Hey ho, I wish my pu the strength to deal with Your situation and have a better Outcome x

ItLooksABitOff · 13/02/2018 18:21

This is happening to me too. Long term relationship, usual ups & downs, but it's a good relationship and I love DH. This new guy however - this is something else, I can't quite put my finger on it. I don't know what to do so I'm just letting myself feel the feelings and whatever.

NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 13/02/2018 19:02

Yes I do believe in it. I believe I've met mine but we aren't together. It's been going on for 23 years.

BackInTheRoom · 13/02/2018 21:23

Soulmate aka the forbidden fruit. Like an overripe banana. Hmm

We always want what we cannot have.

I always look at it like this:

You've been driving around in your family saloon for years and then a shiny Porshe pulls us and you're like woohoo I wanna go in THAT! Then from then on, family saloon or shiny Porsche? Family saloon or shiny Porsche ARGHHH!!! 😩

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