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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I'm pregnant and my family is projecting their anxieties onto me

4 replies

soulbear · 12/02/2018 12:39

I'm currently 23 weeks pregnant. I live in the UK but came over from Europe, originally to study, but am now starting a family with my dear partner. My partner and I went to the 20 week scan a few weeks ago, and were very excited to find out that we were having a boy and that he was developing very healthily. However, the sonographer mentioned that my uterine blood flow wasn't quite as strong as it should be, and that they would need to keep a closer eye on this. I'm now going to monthly scans and obstretic appointments, as well as going to the midwife to get my blood pressure checked every two weeks. I think this is absolutely fine, as I trust the doctors and midwives to be taking good care of me. I also know that worrying won't make anything better, so I will just keep going to my appointments and being as healthy as possible for me and the baby.

Now, I told this to my family back home in Europe, and they're absolutely freaking out. I've told them it's nothing to worry about, but everyone keeps phoning me multiple times a week (which never used to happen before), asking if I've developed preeclampsia, if I feel ill, etc. My brother has even went so far as to send me a blood pressure monitor for my birthday, and said (with my mum in the background), that I should check my blood pressure daily and that they'd appreciate updates. I know it's meant well, but I also know that my family all have very hypochondriac tendencies (my mum exaggerated our symptoms to doctors as children, my cousin thinks every time she's tired she's suffering some sort of deficiency). I phoned with my mum earlier and told her I wasn't really happy about the blood pressure monitor and I think it's all a bit over-the-top, and she just said "well I hope you didn't tell him that. It's only once a day you'd have to do it, don't make such a scene".

My partner has been supportive in this and nearly messaged my mum (kindly) to stop trying to pass on their worries to me, as he could see how much it is stressing me out. His family is very supportive too, saying that we're right to keep our focus positive and focus on the amazing thing we have coming up.

I've thought about turning my phone off for a few weeks, or sending it in for repair (which it would actually need because it's chipped, so I wouldn't be lying). Am I right to be upset here? What should I do? I'm really confused, because I don't want to hurt anyone but I feel like I should be enjoying this very special time in my life, rather than fretting over this.

OP posts:
DriggleDraggle · 12/02/2018 12:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PaintingOwls · 12/02/2018 12:50

Are they Italian? This sounds familiar!

Agree with Driggle you might just have to lie to get through this.

Haffiana · 12/02/2018 12:56

One day your child will be pregnant. Then you will understand.

soulbear · 12/02/2018 13:40

I know Driggle, I regretted doing so immediately! Confused But I'm guessing that will be my only option. I've actually thought about that myself. It's a shame not being able to share things with people but I guess you have to weigh out the consequences, haha! Worried mums stay worried mums I guess :P (there's actually a saying in German which translates to what mother doesn't know won't make her "hot" (i.e. anxious), so a few words to live by I guess!)

And Owls, haha no they're not! They're German actually, but nice to hear my family aren't the only ones Grin

Thanks for your replies anyway :)

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