Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Took step back from back stabbing/copy cat friend, but we are now back in contact. I miss her but know how toxic she can be. Advice?

10 replies

Snorrycat · 12/02/2018 09:26

Hi guys! I met this girl through a mutual colleague, we were managers in the same office though different departments, and got close fast. She’s lovely and I really enjoyed our friendship for about a year until she started to act strangely (turning up places I was like gigs or galleries (I had posted on social media that I was going) but blanking me, copying my hair/clothes/shoes/lifestyle choices but then making fun of me/being hurtful about these exact things, critical of my work, relationship with DH, friends and views of the future)... at first it was confusing but be got super crazy, she copied my plans to TTC, got the same tattoo as me (even though mine had a complex meaning) and turned up to my office with a fake injury saying she had fainted, refusing to tell me if she was ill or not then being cryptic about illness in texts and photos taken from a hospital window ...
After we went to a mutual friends party and she got so drunk she had to be taken home by another mutual friend (her husband was travelling at the time), then texted me a barrage of mean, drunken texts, I thought it time to take a step back from our friendship and give her some space. I eventually moved away for a year to take a second course and came back to the same company we both work at, she had also taken a few months out to travel and is now back. When we met again we got along great and we chat whenever we see eachother, I miss her and wonder if rekindling our friendship is a good or bad idea. Not only that
I feel bad for “ghosting her” though I know the reasons were too complex and crazy sounding, and potentially hurtful- to explain. I forgot to mention: I’m currently in my 3rd trimester of
Pregnancy and she has just announced hers (she is 8 weeks).

OP posts:
AFistfulOfDolores · 12/02/2018 09:50

C'mon, OP. You know the answer to this one.

The better question is why you'd want someone like that in your life. That can be more tricky to answer, because at some point it's very possible that you began to equate intimacy with pain - which can take some time to unpick.

BMW6 · 12/02/2018 09:51

Terrible idea. Keep away. She sounds unhinged.

LesisMiserable · 12/02/2018 10:15

These kind of friends always make the absolute best 'fun friends, they're like the bad boys of our teens - they're bad for us but so much bloody fun! There is a place for this friend - she is in the 'socialfriend' only box. So you can have fun with her but don't go deep, no overstating and no getting too close to each other - social meets only. Also having a child may change her completely.

TemptressofWaikiki · 12/02/2018 16:11

You are actually seriously asking...?! Are you on glue? Run like the wind!

Whocansay · 12/02/2018 17:43

I genuinely don't understand why you would want to invite this kind of trouble back into your life? I don't care how 'fun' she can be. This is Single White Female territory. Remain civil, don't let her close ever again.

000bourneFarm · 12/02/2018 18:07

She wants to fuse with you. Avoid.

Caucho · 12/02/2018 18:28

You’ve escaped. Don’t go back! Who breaks back into prison after being released?

Caucho · 12/02/2018 18:33

They are fun but is highly stupid or just naive being generous to think you can tame the beast. I wouldn’t recommend it personally but you’ve been warned so up to you

Hissy · 12/02/2018 18:35

More fool you if you take back up with her.

Hellywelly10 · 12/02/2018 18:40

Please no. You'll be on maternity leave soon so you can avoid her. Keep it professional or it won't end well.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page