Does this bother you...

[cattycat83]

So I've been with my partner for 11 months..it's been the best 11 months I've had in years. We click..he's amazing and all is good. We see each other regularly, have been abroad and met each other's family's etc and I'm very happy.
This weekend he surprised me with a weekend away. It was fab, an amazing place and I enjoyed every minute of it. We went swimming yesterday and this very pretty woman walked in, couldn't blame him for looking, think we all tend to look if we see someone attractive. Anyway jump to breakfast this morning and she walks in. My partner looks at her and she sits in his view, behind me. He noticeably kept looking at her. We finished and left and went for a walk, walk into a shop and there she is. I admit I watched to see if he looked at her again and he did. I found it really hard, my last relationship, was I now realise a lot of lies. I had this moment where I felt really upset. I will be the first to admit I'm insecure and he knows this. I don't know if he even realised how much he was doing it but of course I didn't want to ruin a great time away so kept quiet. Please tell me there are other people who get like this.

That would piss me off no end, it's disrespectful to you. By all means have a look at an attractive person but to keep looking at them is simply not on.

I personally would have had to comment in a jokey way saying 'she's going to notice if you keep staring at her' or something. I would feel exactly the same as you. We all check out other people, but when you're in company of the person you're with you should know to tone it down. At least out of respect to your partner. I think you'll just have to let this one go. But if he ever does it again just be prepared to say something so he is aware.

Thanks glad it's not just me.
Miow that's a good way of putting it, wish I'd thought of that as would have said it, just didn't want it to come across as accusing and ruin a fab weekend away, it's the first time I've noticed him doing it. Saying that I thought he was looking at her and then said 'looks like theirs more wonky tables, look at the waiters' and they were fixing a table and that's what he was looking at..and probably her!! I know what I'm like and will probably throw it into an apt convo at some point!!

I would find that a massive turn off. Is he not very bright, on the whole?

Are you sure it was her he kept looking at? Could you be being overly sensitive because she was attractive and he looked the first time?

Could there be a mid ground here, where he wasn't looking as much as you thought and maybe more than he should?

He might also not have realised he's doing it. You were watching for it, for him it might have been simply an occasional involuntary glance that meant nothing,

I'm afraid I would have said something the first time he did it. Something along the lines of, 'Oh Christ, your eyeballs have just fallen out. Ask that woman to pick them up for you, then you can get a really good look at her arse.'

If that hadn't worked, by the third time I'd have stood up and left, telling him I was clearly spoiling his view.

I don't have any tolerance for appalling manners.

I think it's fair enough to mention it. As you say we all look, but it's rude to keep doing it. Also, your insecurity is yours to deal with whether he knows about it or not. Our issues should never be made someone else's responsibility. But this isn't about security it's about manners.

Tossdailys response is not the way to go. You dont need to over egg your manners reminder, a gentle nudge should be sufficient for most people. If it isn't then he isn't the one for you, you don't needs to start talking about somebody elses arse to get your point across.

Thanks for the replies.
He is very bright! A very well brought up polite thoughtful man who I've had an amazing time with so far and can't fault him at all.
As I said this stems from me being worried I'm going to get cheated on..however he dotes on me, has always put me first and has put so much effort into us as a couple I really don't want to mess things up..however I'm not one to take any nonsense and will say something if it happens again. We talk openly so have no problem in saying something just the surroundings weren't the right time.