Hello there, I am never too sure where to post a certain thread but if this isn't in the right one please can you point me in the right direction, I am always lost! Thank you..
I have been friends with 3 very close friends for over 10 years now, we are all in our late thirties ish! (nearly 40) and in the last year things have really changed, well maybe its me who is changing perhaps.
I run my own business, have a lovely home and living with my fiancé now for over 3 years and things are good at home, we had a rocky start but things are calming down...!!. We are mad sporty people and love walking our dogs and going skiing and the likes in the winter/ walks/ bikes/gym etc. We are both very much ambitious and love our jobs. We are very private and have a small private group of friends and we have always been this way even separately too before we met.
Lately, two of my friends I mentioned above, have become more heavy drinkers, they are and have always been friends who love to go out at the weekends which is fine and its great, but its more their consumption of alcohol which is more than I think my partner can consume, 10 pints or spirits and some later into 5am. Their hangovers, they don't have any?? or so they say. I am more of a 1:1 person and like my lunches with friends, spas, dinners etc and am now finding it hard to associate myself with these friends as we have nothing to talk about unless its drink or unless its going out, or I find myself feeling awkward and bored.
I am also at this stage in my life where we are thinking of having children and our lives have changed, whereas they have already have theirs at say mid twenties most of them aren't settled with a partner they are still single and dating but never settling down, no jobs no career and no focus, but don't get me wrong, they are great fun to go out with..... They are not into their career which is fine but I am feeling upset after seeing them, or down or confused even. One of my friends partners who was married and only just left his wife for her, doesnt get the fact i am not a big drinker and tries his hardest to get me to drink. I have one or two but thats all I like really. I always feel like i have to explain myself to him.
when it comes to birthdays and this is the hard part, I am finding myself going to theirs and buying them presents but when it comes to mine recently they are not around, forgetting my birthday and this has never happened before. I mentioned last year that I felt it was no longer for me to meet up for girls nights out as I don't drink and felt uncomfortable. Interestingly ever since then its not been the same since and meeting up never actually happens anymore. Unless I want to go where they are going, I am finding it hard to be around them or we are drifting apart.
I do feel something is shifting but feel quite sad but I don't want to live a lie anymore pretending I enjoy these nights out or parties and drinking and also feeling like death the next morning. One of my best friends its more her partner who I feel has changed her, she was never this bad before or around drink and nobody really likes him or trusts him either but she has changed and I feel I just want to leave her to it and let her be now. I guess we all use to go out for lunch and see one another but unless its a huge party or large group for drinking its never going to happen.
Sad but wondering if you have had the same in the past, lives changing , drifting apart?
I just know my life isn't so much around drink and theirs is perhaps?
Thank you for reading....