I know I will probably get flamed here but I am in really low place today. Went on a work night out last night and ended up kissing a colleague. A lot of drink was involved and it was just a kiss but he's twenty years younger than me and I suppose I was flattered. It's not an excuse and I feel incredibly guilty today. My marriage is as good as dead I feel. We haven't slept in the same bed since last October due to dd sleeping in our bed. I can't remember the last time we were intimate. I'm guessing 6 months.... I'm in my mid 40s and really old enough to know better ie: shouldn't be getting carried away with drink. Today I feel it's time I gave up alcohol. My partner is a great father and our children are our main priority. They are my world and I would never hurt them so I feel separation is not what I want but I feel tired and believe that what happened last night tells me everything about where we're at.
At times I feel lonely. He's such a poor communicator and quite happy in front of the footie and on his phone. He admits we have a problem but doesn't want to separate and refuses to attend counselling. Is this our lot in life? Should I tell him exactly what happened last night? I don't want to hurt my children.