Is he cheating?

[lee1975]

Sorry this is long.
I've been dating a man with two children for about 6 months. Since his kids live with him, I usually only see at weekends from Friday to Monday morning and always stay at his.
We've not been getting on since Christmas, I've been finding him pretty controlling and at times verbally abusive when he's had a drink. I've seriously considered finishing with him for about a month now but we've always sorted things out.
I arrived at his on Friday after work and went to have a shower. My razor was on the side of the bath, which is not where I would have left it. My partner has a child on the spectrum that could touch it and so I'm extra careful. Also my partner showers everyday, so if I did leave it there he would have moved it.
I went to use the razor and a lot of pubic hair was stuck in it. The hair was black and quite thick. Definitely not mine but could possibly have been his. I was going to call out to him and jokingly berate him for using my razor on himself but his friends were there so I didn't.
Later on that night, I asked him if he had used my razor and he said no, he had shaved his pubic hair that day but only with his own razor. I explained that I found my razor clogged with pubes and he didn't have an explanation other than thinking I must be mistaken... ie I left it by the bath or his pubes were all round the side of the bath from him shaving and just got caught in the razor. This isn't the case as the pubes were stuck in the razor and not scattered round it.
Am I stupid to accept no proper explanation or do you think he's cheated?

Could one of his children have used it maybe?

WTAF. You can't be serious? Most notmal folks would think he got confused on whose razor was which.

Are you genuinely thinking he had some woman round who had thick pubic hair and used your razor to shave it? That's where your mind went?

Not necessarily cheated but looks like he has lied. It could be as simple as an iff the cuff go into denial as he is embarrassed. Not saying this is right.

Would he have had time to cheat since shaving?

Doesn't matter

You said he's controlling and unkind to you so thats enough reason to walk away

The children don't have pubic hair as they're too young. I really just thought he used my razor at first as it looks like his on pubes. However they were stuck in it and he insists he didn't use it.
The other explanation as to why it was by the side of the bath is that one of the kids moved it, but that would be a first in 6 months.

Yes Shoxfordian, you're right there. This is just puzzling me though.

Well clearly there is some confusion over thr razor.

But in my experience your affair partner doesn't come round your gaff then nip to the loo to shave their thick pubes before shagging your boyfriend. Im in fact agog at the sheer oddness of the suggestion.

He's probably embarrassed he used it! But he's already being abusive in such a short relationship? That's seems more worrying... I would def consider packing my razor and leaving!

Tinkerbec, I don't think he would be embarrassed about using my razor as I wouldn't care and he has his own.
There's no reason for him to lie, I really don't get it. I can't tell when he shaved, he's stubbly down there (sorry tmi) but I've not been here since Monday morning.

Bluntness100 I agree, that doesn't make sense. It does look like a man's pubes but why would they have been stuck in my razor when it's not a big deal for him to use it?
Also he's very careful due to his son's special needs there's no way that he would have showered every day and left my razor by the bath, had I forgotten to move it.

Only logical explanation is its him though.

No woman in their right mind would shave their pubes with a razor in someone’s bathroom.

If I was having an affair, 0 chance I would turn up at the mans house decide to use his gf's razor to shave thick, black pubic hair and then atleast not clean it and put it back where I found it
In fact I wouldnt use someone elses razor ever.

Is it neccessarily pubic hair? Could one of the children of used it to try and cut their hair (on their head) and children even as young as 8 could possibily have body hair.
I think the only reasonable explanation is he used it though.

Agree no woman would ever do what's being suggested here. I actually can't even believe you thought of it and then started to think he was cheating because of it.

It makes me wonder if there are more problems in this relationship than you're saying, because that's a level of insecurity seldom seen.

Yes I agree Tinkerbec and Upsideup. I didn't accuse him of anything but he did say if I had been guilty of having someone here then I would have just said it was me that used it.

Yes Bluntness100, there have been some trust issues but not recently. There's obviously a lot more that's happened in 6 months that I won't bore you with. I didn't straight away think he cheated, I really did think he just used my razor. I didn't even mention it till much later as a jokey thing.... Why did you use my razor?

Maybe he is bi.?

It is odd though.

But is doesnt sound like a particularly happy relationship so why continue?

Upsideup, yes it's possible that the special needs child cut their hair with it, he's got very dark hair like that.

Controlling and verbally abusive 6 months in.....I might be reaching here but gaslighting comes to mind.

Anything else he does you're not comfortable with?

Wherearemymarbles, No I don't think he's bi. I know you're right though, I can't see myself with him for much longer.
Thanks everyone.

Hi OP
If he is controlling and abusive,leave.he won't improve.
What happened with the razor you probably won't find out.

Pollythedolly thanks, no you're not reaching, he is very much a gaslighter and there are many things he has done that have been red flags. I don't want to go into all of that as it's a whole other thread.
Karma star, thankyou.... you're right, I don't think I'll find out and yes he's not going to change. I've just got to get the balls to leave and stay gone.