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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Not sure whether to believe him?

17 replies

ProcrastinatingPolly · 08/02/2018 17:56

So I have given my ex a chance....I saw a marked change in his behaviour and told him this was make or break.

It’s been just under 3 weeks of being back together and he told me that his ex girlfriend might get in touch but to disregard her words because she’s a bit nuts...I probed further on what exactly she’s likely to tell me and he casually said “oh that she’s pregnant with my baby”. I almost fainted.

He denies it’s his and claims she cheated on him throughout December. I don’t know her personally but given what I do know this doesn’t seem likely and she seemed very devoted to him.

I suggested a paternity test to shut her up but he’s pointedly refused. This is all giving me cause for concern.

He’s left me in the past to go back to this ex and if he’s actually got her pregnant I don’t think I’ll be able to deal with that.

Am I wrong to doubt him? Wondering if I should contact the ex as I don’t him in my life and my children’s if he’s having a baby with someone else.

OP posts:
Flimp · 08/02/2018 17:58

he's a shitbag

DriggleDraggle · 08/02/2018 18:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ClareB83 · 08/02/2018 18:03

Sounds like lies.

ProcrastinatingPolly · 08/02/2018 18:04

So I’m not completely crazy for doubting then.

I want to be sure before I cut him off, going to be brave and contact his ex.

OP posts:
LindySprint · 08/02/2018 18:07

No, you're not crazy. Do whatever you need to do to protect yourself and your children (he's not their dad, presumably?)

SandyY2K · 08/02/2018 18:08

Why would he refuse a DNA test? I'd be saying DNA or it's over and don't come back.

LonginesPrime · 08/02/2018 18:08

he told me that his ex girlfriend might get in touch but to disregard her words because she’s a bit nuts

Uh-hu. Yep.

Sounds completely plausible and not at all like something someone who's got something to hide might say...Hmm

LonginesPrime · 08/02/2018 18:15

Also, if you've had unprotected sex with this guy, I would get tested as both scenarios potentially expose you to all sorts.

It sounds like he wouldn't necessarily have been cheating at the time, but unless he's got a very good reason for being sure he's not the father, refusing a DNA test and flatly denying the possibility this child might be his on the basis it doesn't suit him to believe otherwise is a pretty low thing to do, to put it mildly.

Winteriscoming18 · 08/02/2018 18:19

Why are the pair of you fighting for scraps of this waste of space? Seriously I would run a mile even if it was true which it likely is and it’s his, his comments alone are disgusting.

LuckyLuckyWoman · 08/02/2018 18:19

If it wasn't his baby I'm sure he'd be happy to take the test to prove it.

DogBark · 08/02/2018 18:22

Just break up with him.

ALittleBitConfused1 · 09/02/2018 06:43

Every part of your rational brain is telling you what you need to know.
You know he is capable of getting someone pregnant then leaving her and lying to you about it.
You know that if he is saying these things about her her to you he is probably saying the same about you to her
He lies to facilitate his disgusting behaviour towards women
He has no respect towards you or any other woman
He makes you feel that you are crazy and wrong for doubting him
That he is very capable of and probably will leave you, cheat on you, let you down
Why are you interested in what we think, you and your children deserve better. Ltb, get him out of your life.

Burstingwithlife · 09/02/2018 06:50

You are NOT crazy for doubting him. Stand up for yourself. By all means call her and ask. I would also insist that in order to continue the relationship he will be required to take a dna test and to show you the results. Keep us posted. The advice you are receiving on here is absolutely spot on. Xxxx

DownTownAbbey · 09/02/2018 06:56

He must think you're thick. What is it about this man that's so wonderful he's able to make you believe this illogical guff?

Mrstobe90 · 09/02/2018 06:57

The "don't listen to her - she's crazy" line is probably the oldest and in the book.

I'm sorry sweetie but he's lying and has got this girl pregnant. Walk away xx

yetmorecrap · 09/02/2018 10:22

Winteriscoming has it in a nutshell. Don't bother fighting for this waste of oxygen

redannie118 · 09/02/2018 10:34

This reply has been withdrawn

The OP has privacy concerns, and so we've agreed to take this down now.

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