Boyfriend doesn’t want to live with me yet

[Polarbearflavour]

Been dating for nearly a year, going well. Discussed future, marriage and baby in the next couple of years. So all good!

I’m moving location to live in the same city. I’m not happy where I am now and don’t like my job so I have nothing to lose. He’s military and lives in military accommodation at the moment.

I’m buying my own place but renting at the moment whilst I find somewhere.

He doesn’t want to move in with me until next year apparently. Is it just me or is two years of being in a relationship a long time to not live together? No children involved, no other factors.

I’d find it a bit full on TBH, after two years you are buying a property near his military accommodation?!

After one year.

Yes it is all a bit full on. I wouldn't personally move or buy a place near him until I was more sure of the relationship.

Him; ‘Errr... we haven’t been together long, maybe in a year’
You; ‘I’m gonna buy a house in the town where you live’

Slow down OP.

You want to buy a house in his town after you've only been dating a year? That's not a long time at all really. If someone I'd been dating a year said that to me (and they'd never had plans to do so prior to us meeting) I would run a mile - sorry.

I've recently moved in with my partner and we've been together almost two years now. I wouldn't have done it any sooner.

He’s said he would love to move in with me

My family live down there too so it all makes sense.

But he's not though...

You are complaining because he wants to take his time, not rush things, not crowd you? OK.

But he could have reasons you know nothing about... sometime military bods do, for the most mundane of reasons!

I know DH can't tell me about some of the work he does, and he's a civvy contractor who does occasional work on base!

Making sense to you is fine. But please don’t presume that will influence —decide for him— his decision as your perspective is, well, your perspective. He gets to have his very own perspective and that will be independent from your perspective.

I've been with my partner for 4 years now. We moved in together after a year or so and it was a disaster! We only moved in together so quickly because we lived in different counties and I couldn't do the commute thing anymore and I couldn't afford to move in on my own. We lived together for a year and then separated. We quickly got back together, but had to work on our relationship for 6 months before moving back in together again! So no, 2 years is definitely not too long. Be patient. All good things come to those who wait!