When did you have ‘the talk’

[CheetosAreForCheaters]

Met someone through OLD in early December. I only had an account for 3 days then decided it wasn’t for me (too many dick pics and just dicks in general) but in them 3 days got chatting to this man.

Went on a date mid-December which I enjoyed. Since then we’ve been out about 9-10 times. We were both away in January for work (different times) so only saw each other twice in january but we spoke every day. I really like him, we get on really well, he’s funny, kind, generous and good in bed. I can feel myself falling for him but I’ve been burned before where I have felt it was going really well then they have turned around and said they’re not looking for anything serious/ aren’t ready for a relationship.

I’m seeing him again tonight. Is it too early to bring up the ‘where are we going’ talk. It’s been 2 months since we met and I do want to move it forward. We see each other once/twice a week (he works shifts and I have a ds) and we have the best time. I’m rubbish at this kind of stuff and with my ex I pushed for more which scared him off and I really don’t want to do that this time.

Any advice?

Josuk you are my new MN hero. What it takes me about 15 paragraphs to say, you get to the heart of in a few lines.

You're absolutely bang on.

Lesis

😂😂😂😂

I thought I was being too wordy

OP it sounds to me like maybe you just want to know whether you are exclusive or if he is still seeing other people/online dating?

If so, you could just drop in a casual 'I'm not seeing other people, are you?'
Maybe in a couple of weeks when you've seen one another a bit more.

Hi everyone. Another tea break!
I have read all your messages and have decided I am just going to relax and enjoy it. When I say relationship I mean ‘boyfriend and girlfriend’. I know how childish that sounds. I suppose I just want to lable it when there is no need. We are having a good time and enjoy each others company so I should just enjoy it and if it goes somewhere then great and if it doesn’t, then it wasn’t meant to be. He hasn’t done anything to make me think he’s not into me. Also I’m 100% he’s not sat talking to his friends about ‘where this is going’. He’s probably just thinking he’s having a nice time with a nice girl. I suffer from anxiety and maybe this is just a symptom of this or maybe I am just making excuses. Either way thank you all for your input. I am just going to enjoy this for what it is and see where it goes.

I get the impression you just want to know whether he sees it as having potential to progress into something (and dating exclusively)? Trying to establish yourself as bf/gf at this stage would be silly but it's understandable as your emotions and hormones will be all over the place and it's natural to get carried away! I'd say your instinct is correct though to just enjoy it for now and see how it goes. Don't feel you have to sleep with him or sleepover at each other's homes so early if you find it hard to mix that with casual dating.

If after another month he hasn't brought up wanting to be exclusive you could ask him his thoughts on that, but give it a while yet.

In my experience usually when you really hit it off it isn't much longer than a few weeks before you both can't help but decide to be exclusive as neither of you want the other to get snapped up by somebody else! But I seem to be the odd one out in that!

He’s just left! We had a really good time. I didn’t bring up the whole ‘where is this going’ talk but I did ask him if he was seeing anyone else and he said no. But now because I’m the most anxious person in the world I’m worried I’ve scared him off by asking that :( hate my brain at times