How soon is too soon?

[Seashell32]

When you met the one you wanted to marry, did you know right away? Has anyone gone into a relationship quickly and are happy with the decision?

Bit of background... When I was 15 (a very long time ago!) I met him. I really can’t explain it but I just knew straight away that he was the person that I wanted to be with. I’ve always just known. Obviously at that time, we were both very young and had and a very on/off relationship over the next few years - not due to arguing/negativity, we both moved away for work/uni, had other relationships and life got in the way. We had always been very intense with each other, and always knew that we could never just be friends but we were in different situations for a long time which made a relationship impractical. We joked about marrying one day, and always talked about the future. We spent few years of very little contact, because we both knew that we couldn’t speak while in relationships with other people and really wanted each other to be happy - even though that was really tough at the time.

Fast forward to now, I recently came out of a very long term relationship. Out of the blue, after having not spoken for years, he rang me. And it was so normal. We met up, and I’d forgotton what it was like to feel that intensely for someone - we both just knew that now is our time. As embarrassingly cliche as that sounds. We’ve spoken every day since we met, and have seen each other every week for the last few months despite living far apart.

I’m naturally very cautious and over think everything, and have worked hard for everything I’ve got. The last thing I would want is to jump headfirst into something and regret it - but at the moment, I really can’t think of anything that would change the way I feel about him, it’s always been the same. We both have the same ideas for the future, he is very pro marriage and talks about this a lot. He’s also said that this is it for him, and he knows what he wants and thinks that we need to protect what we have between us.

Can this really be as good as it seems or am I missing something? I know it sounds like some kind of unrealistic story (it makes me cringe sometimes ) Is this what it’s meant to be like!? I feel a bit confused after being in an okay but not great relationship for most of my young adulthood.

YOLO. Go for it but at your own pace! Have fun sounds lovely;)

It might be that it's the love story of the century or it might crash and burn, but if you don't give it a try, you'll forever wonder "what if..." And you've known each other for a long time, so you're not taking a complete leap in the dark.

Good luck - I hope it works out for you both.

DH and I were living together within a week and engaged after 5 months. We've now been married for nearly 20 years. When you know, you know...

Oh wow what a lovely love story. I say just enjoy it and see where it goes.

I met someone when I was 17 (many moons ago) and had the same feelings. Similar story to you and he recently came back into my life but it isn't the right time now either. I wish it was.

I wish you the very best of luck

Thank you all!

It’s nice to get some outside perspective. I guess there’s never a perfect time for anything, but I just couldn’t explain that feeling of knowing. It’s strange being in a relationship for so many years, and never having that same intensity. I think it’s a good thing that we went our separate ways and now we’re finally in a position where we can have a future together and don’t have to hold back!

I met dh on a Saturday night out. Never had a night apart since. Married with a toddler and it's been over 5 years now!!

My story doesnt have an impressive timescale, but Ive known DP since we were early-mid teens. Had the sort of relationship you have when youre that age. Was "banned" from talking to him in my late teens until I broke up with my ex (who didnt like the history, or me having friends). My (now) DP moved away when he was 17 or so and we only saw each other at christmas, etc, when he visited my home town. We bumped into eachother again 3 years ago after a few drinks, and have been together since. He moved back recently Im in my late 20s now so its been about 15 years since we met. Pure luck that we came back together when we did, when the timing was perfect. You never know what the future holds, but he makes life better. Go for it!!

Sounds great but i don't think you need to put any pressure on it to move any quicker than it should - i.e. marriage etc - give it a go now as adults, in fully committed relationship (although is location an issue?) and see how it goes, if it works well you'll know before long.

@Myddognearlyatethedeliveryman & @dirtybadger I loved reading both your stories!!

@f83mx Thank you! Well, when we started speaking again, he was planning on emigrating while he could still get a work visa - maybe that’s why he called. But since we met up, he’s decided not to go because he said that he’d be stupid to lose this again, and is in the process of moving closer to me (and his family) which he can luckily do through his current job. I told him that I didn’t want to be the reason for him staying and that I’m not going to let him give up on moving to another country if that’s what he really wanted. But he said that he was just looking for a new chapter but didn’t want to do it without me.

I think in terms of marriage etc, we’re both at a point in our lives where we want to settle down and have a family - obviously this isn’t something that I’d rush into by any means, but I feel like I have known him for a long time now, and the feelings have never changed - so even though it would seem really quick to everyone around us (we’ve always kept our relationship and history very private), if we were to get married ‘quickly’, it just feels right, I can’t explain it very well!

I’ve said all along that I don’t want to put any pressure on it and I don’t expect anything of it, but he seems adamant that he will do anything to make this work in the long term - it’s very strange for me to have someone be so sure and enthusiastic about the future, I’m not used to it, hence the overthinking!

I first met my husband when I was 17, we had a wild few months but I was too wild back then and we parted ways. I met up with him after around the 20 yr mark thanks to Facebook and we were engaged within the month and married the year after. 9 years nearly we’ve been back together and I still get butterflies when he’s due home.

Sometimes it just ‘is’ and I hope reading that helps a bit.

Go for it!

He doesn't want you to be the one that got away!

Oh just go for it. Why question it when you know? I was attracted to a man a few years ago but unfortunately we couldn't be together at that time. If ever he comes back into my life I would do everything to make sure we could be together.

Go for it. He's not a random stranger you have just met. You know who he really is. Why waste any more time?

@Seashell32 I could have written your post. Except I can add a final paragraph; we get married later this year. Go for it; you've nothing to lose and everything to gain! Good luck

Thanks all, definitely a lot more reassured now!

@gamerchick & @margotsdevil that’s amazing, I’m so happy it worked out for you both!! It’s funny how some things are just meant to be!