OLD advice needed

[Pamelaaa]

I am a newbie to OLD so need some advice. I have been chatting to a bloke on tinder since Friday. We message every night for three or four hours or until one of us falls asleep and then we message briefly first thing before we leave for work. We seem to be getting along well and he has been really respectful but so far he hasn't suggested meeting. I know I can suggest it but for lots of reasons I sort of need him to do it. So how long does it normally take before meeting up is suggested?

Why do you need him to do it?

My advice is 1/ stop messaging for three of four hours a night...just in case in person there is no spark. Arrange a date sooner rather than later, you suggest it - cut right back on the messaging. Messaging for hours is kind of a red flag. You don't want a penpal you want to date!

Yep, like the others said. You need to arrange that date. Nothing wrong with you saying 'fancy a coffee sometime?' There is no need to wait for him to do it. Who knows, the guy could be married or have a girlfriend and just getting a kick out of chatting with a woman...or many women.

What LesisMiserable said.

Ditch the long convos online, you might not fancy him and you'll have wasted many hours of your time. Try and aim for a meet up sooner, in the day for a coffee somewhere public. Remember 'Angela' too!

I agree with PP don't spend hours messaging. Arrange to meet asap because you really might not like him in RL. When I was OLD so many seemed quite normal via message and then on the date I was looking how big the window was in the toilet lol Having said that OLD was successful for me and I'm happier than I've ever been with an amazing man I met OLD

I'd expect a date to be raised after a couple of days, and then planned for a few days after.

I've been burned too many times by people who seem amazing over text but are nothing like in person!

Arrange a date sooner rather than later. Chatting loads is a waste of time unless you meet - bitter experience.

Good luck!

You need to ask him directly. OLD is a numbers game.

The 1st rule of OLD is to meet up asap.
Otherwise you could be wasting all that time chatting and then you meet and there is no spark and you just don't fancy them.
You can get support HERE
It's a thread dedicated to people OLD.
Just ask to meet him.
In a public place. A short-ish date that could go on if you want it to.
It's 2018, women can ask men out!!

Yup - meet as soon as possible: suggest it today! You don't need to formally ask him out on a date, if that's worrying you, just say something along the lines of "how about we take this conversation into real life and go for a drink / coffee sometime."

When I was first OLDing years ago I'd spend weeks exchanging messages in some cases, thinking it was important to get to know somebody before actually meeting. In most of those cases, when we did actually meet up there just wasn't any spark or they just didn't seem quite the same in person as online, so all the messaging was pointless. Nowadays I expect to meet or at least arrange to do so within 5 or 6 messages, which is plenty to work out if we have enough in common and might get on, and stop messaging men who are reluctant about it.

Definitely arrange a date sooner than later. Messaging every night is all very well and good but you need to meet in person to see whether there is a spark or not.

Tomorrow is friday so a week since you started talking, why not say "Hey, I'm really enjoying chatting to you. Do you fancy a drink ?" .

Hope it works out!

x