Cheating scumbag

[custardcream1000]

Thisprobably won't make sense as I'm in utter shock. The asshole has been working away for 3 months while I looked after our baby and my 2 older dc. He has been nasty, irritable and distant and told me it was because he's depressed. So I've been walking on egg shells and pandering to his every need, but had a gut instinct so checked his phone and I was right. I've been really childish and messaged her as I don't think she knows he has a family.

I woke him up and confronted him and he told me I was a c#nt and was screaming how dare you look at my phone you bit&h. How dare HE treat me so badly. I'm shaking and feel such a fool.

I want him to leave our rented house asap - can I make him go? I am on maternity leave and work with him. I can't go back. I have no maternity pay from next month so can't afford the bills. My poor children, how could he do this to us.

Op please do not hesitate to call the police.

Get help and advice from woman's aid.

Speak to your midwife, it may be that she can help him to leave via social services if you fear that he is a risk to you and your unborn baby.

Speak to your doctor, get everything logged with people that may be able to help you in the long run.

Record him if he is being abusive, but be careful not to let he know. Block him from all communication platforms other than email. Emails can be used as legal documents, you may need this. When you contact your midwife, doctor, dcs schools do it by email so that you have a record of things.

Get all documents together, financial and personal, ie bank statements and passports etc. Photograph them, email them to yourself and give them along with any valuables to your mum for safe keeping.

Speak to anyone that can help you and keep yourself safe.

Keep hydrated and good luck

Hi, thank you for all of your messages. My mum's amazing. She got him to pack his things and leave. He was so rude to her, swearing and shouting, but she stood up to him. He was crying when he left - probably self pity rather than remorse. He's been so horrible for months, it's a relief to have closure!

Well done to your mum!

Nothing to add, just
Well done your trusting your insticts.

well done ON trusting *

He was very intimidating earlier, it's like he's turned into a complete stranger the last few months.

No, he's probably always been like it but his mask has slipped.

How long have you two been together OP?

Your mum sounds amazing OP. Can you and the children stay with her for a little while

Your mam sounds amazing! I’m really glad she stood up to him and got him to leave.

Yes, my mum's great.

I think you're right Bibbidee. It probably was a mask. I'm glad I realised who he really was before we married. I just feel so sad for our baby and my other 2 children having to go through a major transition again.

I was feeling so strong earlier, but the thought of having to organise all of the benefits etc seems daunting. I think the lack of sleep hasn't helped.

You've all given me lots of great advice. Thank you.

All applications for benefits can be made online.

heck on 'entitledto' and it will tell you exactly what you can claim and roughly how much you will be entitled to. There is then a link to each benefit to make the application online.

Child Maintenance can be done online as well

You will be fine

Are the older two not his bio kids?

Well done to your DM! Remember you're also made of that kind of strong stuff!

Ditto Vladimir You have your Ma's genes OP. Be proud of them and carve out a lovely new life for yourself and let her have the cheating tosser!

It's a major transition again but it will be safe and worth it. Try not to feel guilty on the children, if anything you're being a positive role model for them by leaving. It shows you dont put up with shit! He's a cheating bully boy. Let him bog off to Kent

What an awesome mum you have OP. Well done her, and well done you OP for getting through all this so far. There was a thread on here yesterday which was a year old, the original post from the OP was similar to your situation and then she had posted an update a year on and she said how much better her life was now. That'll be you too OP, keep the faith.

How brilliant you have a wonderful,supportive mum

Fair play to you OP, you've put you and your children first and are paving the way for a wonderful future for you all!

You've got this, I don't doubt it will be incredibly hard but you've tackled it head on for you and your children and I wish you all the best and any support I can offer

Keep going and keep strong !!x

Once you have all your finances sorted you will feel better.
And your kids will flourish with that negative, nasty man out of the house

How is op doing

Well done Mum.
When me decide they want out, it’s like they flick a switch. If they already have OW, I believe they transfer all their emotional attachment to the new woman and you are no longer relevant. Animals do this too. But then his behaviour is no better than an animals- out sniffing around another woman when you are at home with his baby!

How dare he call you the names when he is the one cheating. Please do not be sweet-talked into giving it another go. Remember how unpleasant he has been and hold onto that as you face the days ahead. Imagine him turning that onto your kids when they do something to annoy him.

Good luck