Friendship/emotional affair

[WickedGirl]

When does a friendship become an emotional affair?

I was reading another post in AIBU and it got me thinking

I am friends with a couple of males. We text sometimes. I’m single but I hope I’m not breaking a code by texting them

How do you know where that line is and if you’ve crossed it?

How do you know?when you react differently to them,when your heart skips when they reply
I genuinely think if it’s moving to a romantic or emotional dependency you know
It’s just whether your honest about it
Does it feel equal and same as say your female friendships

If you are texting stuff you wouldn't text a female friend. If you are texting stuff a rational partner would feel.uncomfortable about. If you are texting stuff your rational partner (If you had one) wouldnt like. If you are texting innuendo you wouldn't say in the the flesh. If you secretly fancy one/both of them. TBH - I have male friends and I don't need to ask this question. I just know.

OP - is that a serious question?
How old are you?

But sure - we can try to explain.
E.Affair would mean a frequent communication of increasing emotional envolvement. With longing for each other and an idea that the two of you are special to each other and eventually need to be together....
It’s only an ‘affair’ if the other person is attached.

Otherwise - if the person is attached and you just ocassionally text stuff that his partner would not like seeing - say a pic, or some private comment, or even one/off flirting - it’s not an ‘affair’ - just an inappropriate texting....

But surely - you get that yourself?

You would know if it's an emotional affair. Every time the phone buzzes you leap to it, your messages become more frequent / more risqué/ you spend more time texting than you do speaking to oh. You fall for them even if most of your comms is by text.

I get what all of you are saying

That’s my thought on it all too........it’s just on the AIBU post a lady was texting someone about a hobby and his wife got pissy about it

I just wondered where most women draw that line

I don’t feel like I’m having an emotional affair at all.......talking about cars is fun not sexy

Do you message / call on an evening like a Friday or Saturday evening when chances are , (these males you talk to about cars) are with their wives / girlfriends or is just the occassional text ?

For me it's the frequency and the content you have to consider.
Ask yourself , if I had a boyfriend (which I presume you don't ) how would I be feeling if another girl was messaging this / calling /texting at this time...
It's all about respecting your male friends' relationship if you see what I mean.

If both of you wouldn't be happy to have the exact same conversations infront of the partner. If he is hiding the messages or any part of your friendship. If he says his partner doesn't understand him but you do or if things were different type conversations. If the messages give a buzz when they arrive/watching for next message.

The topic discussed in itself is irrelevant,it’s how you feel/behave to the other adult
If when discussing carburettor you get a whoosh,it’s from him. If you feel a connection to him,or wouldn’t freely share the text with anyone else
Then,you’re both being sneaky,and treating a conversation about cars as vehicle to connect