Hi all, I'm hoping you can enlighten me as to whether I am being unreasonable in my new relationship as I am ready to throw in the towel over something small but feel like I might be irrational!
I'm mid divorce, have two small children and have hashed out arrangements with stbxh that leave me every Wednesday and Saturday night child free. Which is amazing and liberating to me since I have been in sole charge of the kids for nearly six years.
I have been seeing a guy since the end of November. He hasn't been married, no kids. Has a couple of very time consuming hobbies, so he is busy most nights and weekends. When we started seeing each other befor Christmas I had a few weeks of unexpected child free nights and we saw a lot of each other and I really fell for him. He said early on that I was "invited to everything and could stay over whenever I liked", which made me fall for him even more. He also described one of his hobbies as something he did to fill time, but that if I wanted to spend time with him it was optional.
Fast forward two months and all that seems to have changed. He has been moody since new year. There have been a couple of times when I have unexpectedly had some child free time and asked what he is doing only to get a tirade of "no, too late, you weren't free, I made other plans". Which is fine, but I am feeling a bit like he has changed his tune and it really upsets me. Not that he won't see me, as I don't expect him to change his plans, but the way he tells me off for even suggesting it leaves me feeling shit.
Last night I was really knackered and in bed by 9 knowing I had to get an early train today. He started texting around 930 and all was well. Turns out I'm child free this Friday so I asked what he was up to and he said a party in London so I suggested I could come along, and got a tirade of "No. It doesn't work like that, you weren't free so I've made plans and I'm not changing them". Except I wasn't asking him to change his plans, I thought he might like me to come with, and if he had just said sorry not something you could come to I would have been fine. But having delivered this edict he switched his phone off and my reply (saying Im not asking you to change your plans!) still hasn't delivered. I assume he is having a lovely long sleep, but after that I couldnt get to sleep myself for hours and now have to chair an important meeting on no sleep, so I am probably blowing it out of proportion.
I am thinking it shouldn't be this hard. Two months in should still be exciting and fun but I feel like he is moody and irritable and I'm walking on eggshells trying not to put a foot wrong. The whole thing has got my back up. I am wondering if someone in the past has mucked him about and he is projecting that onto me, because I have never asked him to change his plans for me ( although apparently he did a few times in the first weeks but he didn't tell me he was doing so and I'm not psychic!) I know that I am not as freely available as someone with no parental responsibility but I do have quite a lot of free time and I have even taken up his hobby so that I am not impinging on him getting to do what makes him happy.
I am supposed to be going on a city break with him next week and now I feel like I should just not go because being stuck with him in a hotel room in a foreign city could be disastrous. The whole thing has just left a bad taste in my mouth and I don't know what to do.