Life after abuse

[fruity12]

So if you remember my last post o finally left my abusive ex
Me and lo left to my mums which isn't ideal but neither was living walking on eggshells anymore

Anyway I've found a house which is in 2 towns along which has a garden and ticks all the boxes

Or a flat which is in one town along so not as far but closer to work and school

I really want a garden for lo
The house is smaller but I really do not mind that

They are so different and I'm struggling with one to go for as I need to let them know today

I'm kind of desperate as I just want to move so we can settle but I don't want to take just anything

Any advice ?

Sounds like the house is more suitable if you don't mind a longer commute for school/work.

The very best of luck to you

I would go with the one which has the garden . After all you've been through , a garden will be such a lovely , healing thing for you both to enjoy , especially your little one as spring and summer approach . They can have friends to play , you can do outdoor projects , you can chat with friends in the sunshine or watch the sunset with a glass of wine . Gardens and green spaces are amazing and you both deserve that now . If you can put up with being a bit further away then go for it . I'm sure you won't regret it come May/ June when the sun is out and the garden is looking lovely .It might help to imagine you haven't got the house and then haven't got the other place and notice in your mind / heart which you felt most disappointed about .Good luck with your decision and well done you for getting out of that relationship x

I am going to go against the grain and say go with the flat. When I separated I moved into a house with a garden. Keeping the garden under control almost killed me. As I worked longer hours I was tired at the weekends and didn't have time or energy to do the garden. I also found heating the house expensive.
I have since moved into a flat in a high rise building. I am surprised but I really love it. It is cosy and easy to keep clean and we feel safe as it is a security building. Added bonus is that it is closer to the children's schools which is important when you are a working single parent.

Thanks peeps yes that makes a lot of sense
Shall i still view the flats ?

Also, there are 2 houses
One is a newish build, small, parking, blank canvas, landlord seems quite strict and not happy with housing benefit claim etc

Second house, much bigger, more of a landscaped garden, much older thought but landlord happy with me decorating if I want to which I like the sound of
I'm talking a lick of paint in los room
But down side no parking

I'm swaying to the second

Yes second house better - maybe still see the flat incase too. If there are plenty of nice green areas nearby the flat, that might work for you . See how you'll feel deep down when you see them if you'll get the chance to view . I'm swaying towards second house option with garden and easier landlords who sound accommodating but poster above makes a good point for the flat too. Good luck x

i would go for the second

Hmm see I do love a flat but my last one was a coach house with no garden and for the limited time we do get some sun, I really missed my garden. now my little one is 6yrs - 7 in the summer
How nice will it be to open the doors and let her play whilst I'm in the kitchen cooking tea
Think I've made my decision maybe?!
Just don't want to rush anything and want to make sure I make the right decisions

I agree with Possum minimise the work for yourself unless gardening is your release, go for the flat. Gardens are hard work on top of all the other maintenance a house would require over a flat.

It's a fairly small one part gravel and part grass and my step dad has offered to help with it

Think I'll go and see the flats still then decide

Fruity you are answering your own question I think, you keep defending the house, you sound like you really want it. You should go for it.

Best of luck. Wishing you and your dd fantastic new memories in your new home

i'd love a garden :))

Oh god now I owe £40 to the house I do not want - help?!

Messaged the lady for the house I didn't want (private) telling her I've found another one
She said she has to charge me £40 as she has started the reference checks ?!

Unless this was something you agreed to or you signed some sort of contract that said it, she has no right to charge you! She's chancing it. Say there was no verbal/written contract and you will not be paying.

So forms in....waiting on the referencing so fingers crossed !!
The move date will be in 3 wks as that's when the owner is moving out
Wish me luck !

I’d take the garden every time so long as transport is able to get you to school or work.

Unless you agreed some kind of contract where you pay for the references or put a deposit down you don’t owe money for her jumping the gun. Tell her to
Foxtrot Oscar

Yeah I went with the house
Let's hope I get it
The referencing will take a couple of days so won't hear until end of the week
100% on the garden choice now x

I would never take a flat over a house with children.